Crushed
by PureScarlet
Summary: "Crushed, the word itself was wrong because crushing brought all kinds of images, images I tried damn hard to push away but they felt so real I almost moaned". With too much to lose and hearts to protect, can Jane and Maura fight their frenzied attraction to one another? RIZZLES
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the tools used to write this story: my beloved Macbook and my "hipster" reading glasses (correction, my dorky reading glasses).

 **Authors Note** : I'm a newbie to this fandom which kinda sucks because I'v heard season 7 will be the last season! Trust me to be late to the party…I don't normally write stories as I'm more of a song writer but I've stumbled upon some courage or maybe it's down to anonymity, I don't know you…you don't know me. Sounds like the beginning to a beautiful friendship. ;)

Anyways, please leave me with your thoughts. I've no beta reader but I've tried to spot the typos. If you know anyone who can help please tell me! Yaaas? Criticism is always welcomed.

PS: I'm aware that Frost's no longer with us but I just love his character so he'll always be in my stories.

Her eyes were as dark as the night's sky. Today had been bad, one of those days where her answers were more sarcastic than usual, strained and left my patience running low.

"Ja…"

"Shh. No talking during a stakeout. So just shut it, okay?"

I stared at the woman next to me with outrage. No one spoke to me like that. I wanted to begin a verbal battle with her but a part of me was hurt, because this was new, she'd never spoken to me like that before, not without danger or tension being present. _Was it present now?_ We were merely helping Frankie by spying on one of his potential mating partners. This, of course was being done without his knowledge. Jane was just being protective.

Yet, the two words couldn't leave my mind, 'danger and tension' they were out of place. This situation was increasingly confusing. I tried to pinpoint the time where she'd started acting like this but it always came back blank. Lately the frequency of her bad temper had increased strangely after Ian and I moved in together. Personally I thought that she'd be happy for me. Ian and I had been dating for a month after his return from Africa and things were going great. We matched intellectually and physically. He was my chance at happiness and I intended to keep it. Jane's attitude was confusing and to my surprise, it annoyed me.

The fact was, I missed her, I missed the sarcastic jokes she'd insist on sharing and her large smile afterwards. I missed the random coffee's she'd bring me and many other things I'd never actually tell a living soul about. This morning, however, hadn't started out so bad. She had knock on my door with coffee at hand and an almost apologetic smile.

 ** _* * Ten hours earlier * * *_**

 _"_ _Morning," she grinned, "I got you that chia you like so much,"_

 _"_ _Thank you Jane," I smiled as our gazes locked for several seconds, "come in, I'll just grab the papers for court. Won't be a second,"_

 _"_ _Ah, Rizzoli good morning," Ian smiled and sipped his morning coffee._

 _I smiled at the two people and turned towards my office. With a sigh, I picked the neatly staked papers and made my way back into the dinning room._

 _"_ _I think…"_

 _"_ _She said she'd meet you there," Ian shrugged. "Something about a wrong document,"_

 _I nodded and stared at the spot where she had stood, "well, I guess I'll go," I murmured._

 _"_ _Have a good day my beautiful lady," Ian smiled and kissed my lips. His smile was always contagious and before I knew it, I was smiling as our lips brushed once more._

 _"_ _See you later," I said and gave him one last kiss._

 _Once I reached town hall, I noticed her car pulling in and as I straighten my shirt and fixed my hair, I saw her crazy curly hair flying freely around her face and watched as she battled with it. The hair was winning._

 _Naturally I rolled my eyes at her and hid my smile. The woman had no control not even on that unruly hair of hers. However, as she approached me I instantly noticed her chocolate eyes turn furious and I tried to imagine a possible trigger. I smiled again and asked if she had collected the documents and joked about her disorganisation. Her anger seemed to solidify._

 _"_ _Let's just go and get this over and done with," she commented and walked away. During court, the lawyer informed us what had occurred and notes were exchanged before the judge had been ready for us. The case had been ongoing for months and it was a relief to see it coming to an end._

 _Taking our expert evidence into account along with the victims words proved to be powerful as the judge granted his verdict in our favour._

 _* * Present Time* * *_

I sighed and watched the glass of the car window fog up. I felt tired and would rather be at home but I had promised Jane to help her and true to my word, here we were but this awkward silence was bothersome. My gaze turned to my companion. Her face didn't look away from the steering wheel although it twitched when I breathed out.

Her behaviour had changed rapidly and too often. My mind wandered, I had to rationalise this. We worked together and spent most of our free time together, well that was until Ian and I moved in together. Was that the issue? This was certainly not work related.

This was something different. Her body language was all wrong. I had only seen this type of behaviour once. At the time it meant one thing…attraction. Strong, undeniable physical attraction! Had it always been there for her? Why was I noticing this now? This was not something to be pursued. I've worked hard to avoid it because it left me feeling pained and irritated. Not to mention the usual carnal need that followed each time I watched her muscles at work. I didn't know it then but attraction had followed to feelings at great speed. It crushed me.

 _Crushed_ , the word itself, was wrong to use because crushing brought all kinds of images, images I tried damn hard to push away but they felt so real I almost moaned. Her muscles, those perfect sculptured muscles and her beautiful weight, crushing my body as she moved on top of me. Then her lips finally _crushing_ against mine…

Yeah, ' _crushing_ ' was the wrong word.

"Jane…." I whispered, desperate to get away from my own thoughts.

"Stop it," her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel.

"What?" I whispered, still slightly disoriented from my own insane web of desire for her. When had spying on someone become my personal nightmare? I took a deep breath to calm my heart rate. I thought of Ian, handsome, caring Ian. He was probably at home making us dinner. Angela most likely sitting nearby as they eagerly discussed his time abroad.

"Stop breathing, stop talking…just stop!" Jane's voice rose as her eyes sent murderous glares at the steering wheel.

"You want me to stop breathing? That's ridiculous for you to ask me such thing. Unless you want me to die…"

"Goddamn it. No, I don't want you to die Maura," she slammed her hand against the steering wheel, causing it to sound briefly, "look what you've done. Now our position has been compromised,"

"What I've done? Jane, I think that you need to calm down. I will not have you talking to me like that…" Her hands shot out and clamped over my mouth, and I didn't even have the time to blink. I had forgotten how fast her reflexes were.

"I said, stop talking. I need to concentrate and do my job and I can't do that if you insist on talking and…and breathing. This is why you should have stayed in your office. Leave the goddamn detective work to me," she whispered harshly.

Then the stupidest thing happened. It was so uncharacteristic of me but combined with her anger and my sordid thoughts I started crying and all that it took was a single tear to reach her skin and she wrenched her hand away as if I had stung her.

"Maur?"

I looked away, tried to distract myself. Focused on street signs, the patterns of lights, anything else that was not Jane Rizzoli. She leaned forward, her hands brushing the tears away. I was irritated with my body for the harsh betrayal.

"Maura, I'm sorry," She apologised, the anger she held evaporating, "please don't cry," she whispered. Her hand caressed my cheek, traced my jaw line, my chin, my nose but never my lips. _Never my lips_. I think that that was the most painful part of it all. I had never had these feelings for anyone, especially for a woman. I was never against same-sex couples, just never lusted after a woman, this left me confused, hurt, annoyed and many other emotions I couldn't care to discover. It was exhausting.

Her face was inches away from mine. It would be so easy to erase the space between our lips. My heart was slamming against my ribs, I was sure she could hear it. Her brown eyes looked sad and desperate but never left my own gaze. Maybe I was getting the wrong message; maybe she didn't want what I wanted. _What did I want?_

Maybe, I was going insane. Living a lie with a man I claimed to love just because I didn't want to be alone. The sad truth was that people were wrong about me. I didn't have a perfect life and I certainly did not have it all planned out. My life was a mess disguised in beautiful diamonds and designer heels. I should have been ashamed of myself but at that moment, I didn't see anything else but smooth dark hair and mesmerising brown eye. Our breathes mingled together and as I sighed, her eyes narrowed. Then the crushing began. The contact was like lightning. A painfully spike of pleasure and desire and then came the thunder.

I wasn't ready for her response as her hand cupped my face and pulled me closer. Our lips parted and further tears rolled down my cheeks. This time because her taste felt like the sweetest elixir ever created. I wanted more, her arm then surrounded my waist and pulled me until I was on top of her. Her other hand running through my hair pulling me closer if that was even possible but I wanted more and less at the same time.

I wanted more contact, more pressure, her strength and _her_ and less clothes, less space between us. The laws of physics uncared for.

Our breathing was loud and desperate. Our taste crushing together like a tidal wave. _Oh god, crushing._

The hand on my hair slid down to my neck and then slowly lowered. My teeth dug to the bottom of my lips to keep me from screaming as my mind begged her to touch me further but I never voiced it because I knew. I knew that if our lips fully parted the spell would break. Our eyes would meet and this would end.

And it couldn't end. It was a pathetic desperation of mine. Her hands held me so tight, I was sure I'd bruise in the morning, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered but my desire, my stupid, reckless desire. My hands went down her abdomen, until it reached the top of her jeans and as they lowered further down and pressed onto her clothed core, she growled, the sound like rolling thunder and I almost came right then and there. Her sound vibrated throughout my spine.

My burning lungs did not matter. My back arched as my thighs brushed against her leg, the sensation was going to kill me. And then something happened just as I thought I was going to orgasm from the friction, she pushed me away.

"What are you doing?" I moaned. Our chests raising and falling rapidly.

"Well, I…I thought you'd like to breathe…"

"Breathe? I don't need to _breathe_!"

"Well, I do!" Jane snapped and looked away from me and cleared a small patch of the window with her hand. We couldn't even see outside, because every window was fogged up.

Then her eyes returned to mine, and I saw it and I would never forget her dark eyes as she looked at me with reverence; she took all of me in, like I was the most precious thing, like my messed up hair and my displaced lipstick was beautiful to her. I felt worshipped and I wanted this feeling forever but as destiny cruelly demanded, everything disappeared. Her gaze turned almost black, our delicate beautiful moment, shattered.

"You need to sit back down. This stakeout is over," she mumbled and started the car.

Then it all became too much. Realising what had just happened became too much. I needed to get out I needed to distance myself from her. For the first time in years, I was beginning to be happy with a man who loved me and came with no baggage. Jane and I, we had too much together. It would eventually destroy us. I couldn't risk everything for attraction.

I will never know how I did it, but my hands reached for the passenger's door and I stumbled out, my legs weak from wanting her so badly. The cold air hit me like a metal brick. Erasing the warm marks she left on me. My thought rambled out of control. Too much emotion was surfacing. I needed it to stop.

"What have I done?" I cried as I walked away from my desire and towards my home. Where my future lived.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I would like to take this opportunity to address some (strange) reviews that were received. I did not take your comments to heart because it did not affect me, you're entitled to your own opinion. I respect that not everyone will enjoy some characters in this story and though there is nothing I can do to change your mind, I hope that you continue to support my story because all good things come to those who wait. Having said that, thank you to the people who spoke up. Also, I have my very first groupie (KSHAY89), I totally feel like a rock star!**

 **Lastly, thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read my story. I appreciate it.**

The aroma of freshly cooked food hit me as soon as I crossed the threshold between my home and the world. Soon after I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist. His lips finding the smooth skin just where my clavicle met the scapula. I felt his mouth turn into a smile, "did you and Jane have fun?" He murmured between the feather light kisses.

At the mention of her name my eyes snapped open and I tensed. My teeth dug into my lower lip as a means to stop my mouth from speaking the words that my mind screamed. However, not saying anything proved me wrong as he moved closer and turned me to face him. My gaze dropped to the ground. I felt like I was being observed by hundreds of people. It was almost suffocating.

"Maura?" he whispered and gently cupped my cheeks. His gaze then dropped to my lips, "oh sweetheart, what happened to your lip?" he questioned with worry in his eyes.

"wha…what do you mean?" I asked and ran to the nearest mirror on the wall. Upon inspecting my reflection, my shaking hands flew to my swollen lip where blood oozed from a small cut. My red lipstick now a faint stain.

"Sweetheart?" Ian whispered. "Are you alright? What can I do?"

My eyes rapidly shot to Ian's reflection behind me. His light eyes looked saddened, as if he had an idea of what had occurred between Jane and I and yet at the same time looked clueless and desperate to help. My stomach tightened and as he stepped closer to me once more and curled his arms around my waist. My breath escaped my lips in the form of a cry. This was dirty, this was wrong and yet the only light at the end of this train wreck of a tunnel was the taste of beer and peanut butter on my tongue.

"Oh god," I cried, angry at my mind for taking in the small pleasure of her taste that had lingered. "Umm, I'm…I'm fine. It was an accident. I'm fine," I told him.

Ian nodded and looked away, "You must be careful my love. Why don't you go and wash up then come down to eat?" I responded with a nod and rushed upstairs towards my master bathroom.

Piece by piece my clothes were peeled off and carelessly dropped on the floor beside my trembling legs. Then I turned the tap and watched the rush of hot water fill the white tub. I can't remember how long I was standing still but before I knew it my feet stepped into the tub then my body submerged into the hot water. My back arched, allowing the water to cover my head. With my breath held, I felt the odd sense of loneliness and want wash over me. It felt strangely good; it felt like the water kept my emotions at bay. I fought a little longer to stay under the water until my lungs cried for oxygen and I obeyed their request.

-/-/-

Throughout dinner, conversation was kept to a minimum as Ian and Angela felt the awkward atmosphere lingering over me. Angela asked several times whether Jane had caused my discomfort. I could tell she was worried about Jane too but the maddening selfish side of me wanted to demand her to feel no pity for her because she deserved no pity. Not for what she had done. I deserved none either.

As midnight approached, Ian kissed me goodnight and retired to bed.

"I'll be there soon," I whispered. He nodded with disappointment and walked away.

Seconds later my phone vibrated, indicating a message had been received.

Jane Rizzoli: **Open the door**

Maura Isles: **No.**

Jane Rizzoli: **Maura, please.**

I hadn't expected her to talk to me much less come and see me. For a brief insane moment, I thought she had called to continue where we had left off but as I opened the door and looked at her, her tone said it all.

"Maur."

"What?" I whispered harshly, feeling angry and embarrassed.

"I need to speak to you,"

I stepped outside and quietly closed the front door, "No. Ian just retired to bed and your mother is probably still awake," I hated her. I hated her for making me want her so much to then ripping it from my hands. Her hair danced against the fierce wind, it looked like incredible silk. It was beautiful, she was beautiful.

I shook my head. I couldn't get distracted. With determination and courage fuelled by anger, I stepped closer to her in order to intimidate her and for me to gain some control, "what happened? Why are you so angry at me lately?"

"Is this a joke? I can't work out if you're serious," she responded without glancing at me. Her hands stuffed into her pockets.

"I can assure you Jane that this is no…."

"You!" she interrupted. "You! That's what has happened! You with the way you say my name. Do you have to drag it out so much? _A_ nd those tight skirts, perfect hair and…your google mou…mouth and…god! You're so hot! Fuck-sake, even your breathing turns me on!" she sighed with frustration and ran her hands through her curls hair. I froze in shock.

"The worse fucking part is that you've got fucking "Mr perfect" living happily ever after with you and now you're playing house and I've got…"

"Casey." I added.

"Right." She laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I asked, anger building up.

"Because I didn't fucking know! Alright? It was only until recently that I've...I've wanted to…I don't even know what I want…"

Anger boiled up inside me, "then leave me alone. I will not leave Ian and destroy our family because you're unsure of what you want! God! This is so you. You drive me crazy, you make me want you then you become you! You're insufferable and idiotic and moronic and I hate you!" I sighed trying desperately to be quiet, "Okay, I don't technically hate you but…"

"Stop,"

"Stop _what_?" I yelled for the first time, _whoops_.

"Being angry! It makes me want you more,"

My eyes widened, "Jane…I don't know wh…"

Whatever I was going to say was lost to a frantic kiss that left me feeling breathless again. Then as soon as it had happened she pulled back and looked me in the eye.

"I need to breath and think," she cried as our chests heaved. Then turned and walked down the pathway. I watched her pace up and down my street.

I rolled my eyes, irritated at the situation because right now, this is what it was. A situation.

"Did the _breathing_ help?" I asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"No," she sighed.

I closed my eyes, this had to stop before it began, "I think you should go. Forget this ever happened. We both have stressful jobs and it all became too much. You're not to blame. Don't punish yourself. You do not have feelings for me and the feeling is mutual. We spent too much time together and now that I'm living with Ian, it's natural to want to compete for my attention. Go home, find Casey and spend time with him. You'll see," I smiled and looked at her. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince her or myself but when she looked at me and sighed, my stomach formed a knot and my heart tightened.

 _I'm_ _Pathetic,_ my mind screamed. My hand rested on my abdomen as I waited for her response.

"Forget about it?" she contemplated, "Isn't that kind of hard? We see each other everyday,"

"Then we move past this. We're adults and we're best friends," I added.

She looked up, marinating the proposal, "Hmmm, okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nodded, not fully trusting myself to speak and forced a smile. This was going to be hard, but I had to do it. Had to be strong for her, for our family and for Ian. I'd lock my love somewhere and hope it would die on its own. I've succeeded before today and will continue to do so.

Several minutes later, tears streamed down my cheeks as I lay in bed and watched Ian's chest rise and fall as he slept. I had just admitted to myself that I had romantic feelings for Jane Rizzoli.

-/-/-

I was caught somewhere between half-conscious and half-asleep where everything was peaceful, dreamy and weightless. Where I allowed my mind to play with possibilities. Where strong hands gently mapped my back and hips until they made their way towards my most sensitive parts. Why did I taunt myself? Would I feel a hot breath tickling down my neck? Would there be gentleness? Roughness?

Once my eyes slowly opened, I was greeted with a large smile and a gentle kiss, "You're so beautiful when you're sleeping," Ian murmured. I smiled in response and brought our lips together.

"Are you feeling better this morning?" he asked. I nodded and smiled.

"So, what're the plans today?"

I breathed slowly and cleared my throat, "Jane wanted us to meet Frankie's new girlfriend," Ian nodded and then sighed.

"Are you going to tell me what happened yesterday?" he asked.

My heart started to beat rapidly, I was not ready for his questions but I had to say something, "we had a minor disagreement, honestly nothing to alert the media about," I responded then rolled over to avoided his gaze because I knew that my behaviour had hurt him. Then after moments of silence, I sighed and pushed myself off of the mattress.

The rest of the morning went by fairly quiet and as the afternoon approached, I sighed and stretched my back before collecting my jacket and walking the short path to "The Dirty Robber".

-/-/-

"Hmmm….you've gotta try this pie!" Jane exclaimed.

My eyes instantly rolled, "I'm not hungry and besides I thought we were meeting Frankie," I said, trying to sound as neutral as possible even when my mind screamed at me. I briefly wondered how she managed to look so unmoved about our situation, was she over it already? Did it mean nothing to her? My thoughts however were interrupted when the curly haired idiot tried to shove a fork full of pie in my mouth.

"Just taste this, please?" she pouted and tried to feed me again.

"Fine! But I'm capable of feeding myself Jaaayne," I said and took the fork. As the hot pie melted into my taste buds, a small accidental moan left my lips. I had to admit the pie was amazingly sweet and left the taste of cinnamon on my lips. It was almost as good as Jane. Wait. No, this kind of thought had to leave my mind. It had the annoying habit of popping into my mind without my permission.

If I hadn't been arguing with my mind, I would have noticed that Jane had not said a word for over a minute. She hadn't even gloated about the fact that she was right. This was a good pie. We made eye contact for the first time since last night, my blood rushed to my chest. Her hands were gripping the table as if she was holding herself back and her chest was heaving, she was aroused. This was dangerous.

The facts were these: Jane wanted me and I wanted her. Yesterday proved both statements to be factual however, sexual attraction was not enough to destroy two relationships and put us in harms way. I needed to decide on the best course of action to reduce damage and fast.

I got up abruptly and practically ran out the diner. I couldn't stand to be in the same room as Jane, not right now. It was too soon. As I sprinted down the street my breath thundered in my ears. Why couldn't she control herself? We had agreed on this. We agreed to bring things back to normal. Perhaps we needed to stay away from each other…we needed a break. Rationally, I knew my feelings would subside as time went. I knew that one day, I'd probably be able to look into her eyes without wanting her and without losing my sense of what was right or wrong.

I felt dizzy, and had to stop running. Spots danced before my eyes, and I stumbled whilst not moving at all. Then I simply fell but of course, she caught me.

"You're everywhere!"

"Sorry Maura, I'll try harder not to be everywhere,"

"Why do you do it? Why are you everywhere? Even when you're not physically present, you're still…here," I assume it goes without saying that I wasn't exactly on top form as I sprouted this nonsense.

"You see me when I'm not around?" she grinned.

I groaned and glared at her, "let me go,"

"If I do that you'll fall,"

"I won't," I tried to shove her away but she was stronger than me. _Damn her_. "Don't do that again," I whispered.

"Do what?" she whispered back, panting slightly.

"I think we should meet Frankie's girlfriend another day. I want to go home and lie down,"

"Lie down?" It was wrong how she was able to turn what I said into something decadent and wicked.

"Bye Jane…" I said and pushed myself away from her.

"You should shower first. The hot water will relax you. The soap will leave your body shining almost like a diamond,"

"Jane, what're you doing?" I asked, though it didn't come out as sharp as I wanted.

She stepped closer to me, "If someone were to...lick your throat, you'd taste…"

"Jane stop," I whispered and looked at the ground. Why was she doing this? Did she enjoy the torture? Was this just a game to her? How could she be so selfish?

She was so close; I could almost taste the pie she had just eaten.

"If someone were to bite you, would you scream in pain or pleasure?"

I wanted to run but my feet were glued to the ground, "I can't believe you," our eyes connected and I knew she was aware of her affect on me. Her brown eyes had plunged into darkness. She looked almost wicked and amused.

"You're bothering me," I said, my voice trembling. I was so aroused that I had to bite my lips to stop me from begging her to push me against the nearest wall and fuck me hard.

She stepped closer and I stepped back. Distance. We needed distance.

"Sorry…" she whispered. The playful glint in her eyes disappeared as she stepped closer. Our breaths mingled, our eyes locked. We were at each other's mercies, it was like a gravitational pull and the force was strong, irresistible. Her hands gently but firmly pushed me against the wall and with a sigh of defeat; we both surrendered. The kiss was like no other. It was raw, desperate and passionate. I felt awake and asleep at the same time, the sensation felt bone deep. My eyes squeezed shut and I could've sworn that I saw stars. I groaned into her mouth and pushed myself closer to hers.

When our lips parted, it felt almost soul crushing. I didn't want to look into her eyes because I knew that she'd give us a reason to stop. I know that I should have ended it myself.

"Maura…" she whispered. I shook my head and looked at the ground. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I felt her hands trembling as she cupped my face.

"This thing that's going on between us…it…it needs to stop before we take it too far," she smiled almost sadly. Her thumbs caressed my lips and it sent a shiver down my spine.

"So, what do you suggest we should do? My previous suggestion obviously did not work"

"See less of each other?" She suggested.

"We have to work together and people will start asking questions. We cannot show any signs of weakness. I think the best possible plan is to never be alone together. This attraction between us only intensifies when we're alone. Therefore, we shouldn't be alone," I whispered, still millimetres apart.

She nodded, "We should crank up the romance, go on more dates …"

"How in the world would us dating help the situation?"

"Not each other!" she laughed, the sound making my heart beat faster. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and kiss her again.

Then as if she had been reading my mind, the laughter stopped, "I'd like to kiss you one last time,"

My eyes drifted to her lips. Our breaths mingled once again and my hands started to tremble once more. I couldn't understand why each time we were this close self-control was difficult.

"I'm going to kiss you now." I nodded and closed my eyes.

"Jane, Maura! There you are!" Casey shouted from across the street and ran towards us. We immediately sprinted apart. Though I was a little worried of what he had seen a small part of me felt irritation towards him for interrupting our moment. Jane and I never had that one last kiss and now my mind did not have the chance to store the desperately wanted moment into my memory. This left me greedy.

"I've been looking all over Massachusetts for you," he grinned at Jane and placed a kiss on her lips. The kiss that should have been mine. My eyes closed and I looked away. I did not want to see and I did not have the right to claim her affection as mine own.

Seeing my discomfort Jane turned to me and smiled sheepishly. I needed to end this moment and quickly, "I've to go," I said and started to walk away.

Jane called me but I didn't turn around, I groaned and continued to walk away. I could have sworn that Jane had told him to let her go. I hadn't even realised that I had been holding my breath until my lungs felt like they were squeezing me closed.

Shame seeped through my veins once my breathing went back to normal because a small part of me had hoped that Casey had seen us, I had wished to be caught, I had wished to destroy two relationships and complicate a family. Only in the confines of my own space did I let my tears fall. It made me angry because whilst I cried, Jane was out there most likely wrapping her arms around that man and smiling like the sun shot out of his ass.

"Ugh," I groaned and followed the corridor that led to the kitchen. Perhaps wine would help.

-/-/-

"Sweetheart,"

I felt a slight shake as Ian awoke me and as my eyes slowly opened I was greeted with his kind smile. "I don't even remember falling asleep" I told him with the evidence of sleep in my voice. "What time is it?" I asked as my hands shot to my head. I must have passed out after several glasses of wine.

"A little after four. I ummm, saw Jane and Casey whilst I was at the station earlier and invited them over for dinner. I hope that's okay?" He smiled. My eyes widened slightly. How was I going to cope with seeing the them for an entire evening if I couldn't handle a few minutes this afternoon? Reaching for the bottle of wine on the table I drank several mouthfuls and mumbled my response. Ian's head shook as he took the bottle from my hands.

"I think you've had enough" he sighed. "I'll make you a coffee: seriously Maura, this is so not like you. Please talk to me," he cupped my cheeks and brought our lips together, "whatever it is, we can handle it together". I couldn't look at him, his eyes were so honest, so good. I feared that he would be able to read mine. Clearing my throat I stood up from the couch.

"Why were you at the station?"

"Oh, I was going to bring you lunch but Jane told me that you weren't feeling well,"

I nodded, "I…umm...I need to get dinner ready." I murmured and strolled to the kitchen without uttering another word.

-/-

Glancing at the clock, I sighed for the fourth time and met the bottom of the glass once more. This must have been my seventh glass of wine and I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't getting to my head slightly. Just then the door bell sounded. Jane was just in time.

"Smells good in here," I heard her, "thanks for inviting us over Maur,"

I glanced sideways at Jane as I dished the food, "didn't have much of a choice. Ian kind of sprung this up on me,"

She chuckled and moved closer to me until I felt her breath on me. I held mine and panicked. Ugh! My mother would be ashamed.

"Jaaaayne..." I warned her.

"Relax," she whispered, "I was just grabbing a sweet potato fry and have you noticed how you only drag my name out when you're annoyed or trying to get a rise out of me?"

My eyes rolled, "hadn't noticed" I said, sarcasm clearly evident, I was getting good at it.

"You and Jane have been dating for a while now. Any plans to start a family?" Ian asked as we ate.

Casey laughed nervously and glanced at Jane, "we've not discussed it. Though, I'd love to see a little Jane Rizzoli walking around one day," he smiled.

My eyes rolled, "Don't you think it would be a little careless to have a child? With you out of the country more often than you're in it?" I sipped my drink and looked him straight in the eye.

Jane's eyes widened in shock, Casey scratched the back of his neck, "Ummm..."

"Ummm? Really, Jane? You sure know how to pick them," I could hear what I was saying but I couldn't stop myself.

"Maura!" Ian warned lightly.

I looked at Ian then turned my attention back to Casey, "I don't think you would choose Jane and your child over your job. And do you know what would happen?" my brow raised, "I'd be the one stepping in and taking care of your child and Jane's _every_ need and believe me…" I smiled and glanced at a shocked Jane, "It would be very pleasurable for the both of us," my grin widened as I sipped the rest of the wine. I felt giddy and accomplished because I had managed to leave Jane Rizzoli speechless. Then just as fast as it had happened, shame came crushing down.

 _Ian_ , I thought. "Ian, I'm…."

"No, forget it Maura," he placed his napkin on the table and stood, "Jane, Casey, it was lovely seeing you. I apologise for ending this evening so prematurely but I've suddenly lost my appetite," he looked sad. My hands covered my mouth as tears blurred my vision.

"Maur…." Jane finally whispered.

"Don't." I rasped… "please just leave," as the two left, I took the dishes back to the kitchen and blew out some candles before I followed the glowing light coming from our bedroom.

"Ian…" I knocked on the door my heart was beating wildly in my chest. I wanted to run and hide but Ian deserved my honesty.

He sat on the edge of the bed, "just tell me one thing…are you two having an affair?"

"Ian…" I stepped closer to him.

"Damn it Maura! Answer me," his voice raised.

"No. We kissed for the first time yesterday but we're not having an affair,"

"Just once?" he asked.

"And…once again today but we have both agreed that it was due to stress and that spending time apart would do us great. I promise there is nothing going on," I sat besides him and took his hands in mine.

"Ian, I'm so sorry," my voice trembled, "I don't know what has gotten into me lately. I love you and want you,"

"Are you in love with her?"

"What? No," I shook my head, "She's very attractive but I almost certain that I'm not…I'm not in…in…love with her," I stuttered.

"Almost certain? What the hell does that even mean?" He looked at me. I could see that he was angry and upset.

"I feel love for Jane but I'm not in love with her. I'm perhaps in lust with her but not in love…"

"In lust?!" he exclaimed, "How the hell do you think that makes me feel Maura?"

He stood and started to pace, "how long have you felt this way?"

"Ian stop pacing. It makes me nervous,"

"Maura, how long?"

My eyes closed, "About a week after meeting her," I honestly answered. My head dropped to the ground.

"Jesus! Are you in love with me?" he asked, "actually, don't answer that," he laughed, almost bitterly. "I don't think I'd like the answer. I…I need to go for a walk…" He rasped, "I need to think. Don't follow me,"

Tears frantically streamed down my face as the front door slammed loudly. I didn't know what to do and who to turn to. I couldn't ring my mother because she wouldn't understand. Could run to Angela because Jane was involved and I couldn't reach out to Jane because it would make matters worse. I was alone and I felt angry. At that moment I was the definition of 'wallowing in self-pity'. I was angry because Jane had gotten the better end of our deal. She and Casey were most likely curled up in bed and watching a movie and feeling content whilst mine was shattering. I had to put this right with Ian but I couldn't go without seeing Jane because not seeing Jane was like not being able to breathe, it felt like an impossible task.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the delay guys! It was my fiancé's birthday and we had a totally cliché trip to Paris. Twas beautiful though but I'm back now!

Thank you some much for reviewing, messaging & alerting this story. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, you guys are my muse.

PS: I've been on this earth for 23 years and I cannot for the life of me distinguish the difference between affect and effect no matter how many people have tried to help me. So sorry.

Chapter 3

I was greeted with the warmth of the morning sun and the coldness of an empty bed. Ian had not returned. With a groan, I sat up and massaged my temples, I was definitely feeling the effect of too much alcohol. The events of the previous night coming back to me, making me cringe, It was so unlike me. Grabbing my phone I noticed the many missed calls from work and sighed, none from Ian or Jane for that matter.

The smell of coffee brought me out of my thoughts as I travelled to the kitchen. Angela must have been using the coffee machine. However, it was not Angela who greeted me but Ian. "I've made you coffee," he murmured as he sipped his own drink.

"Thank you," I responded, almost quizzically. This felt too normal. Had I dreamt the whole experience?

"We need to talk once you get home from work" he stated. Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream. I nodded in response. What else could I say? I'm sorry? _Was I Sorry_? This made me feel terrible. Before either of us could speak, my phone began to ring, obnoxiously and for the first time in my adult life the interruption was welcomed.

"Isles," I answered. "Yes, I'll be right there,"

-/-/-

"Don't touch that body or anything around it until Maura gets here!" I heard her grunt towards a scared looking police officer. Having not been detected by Jane, I took the opportunity to follow the contours of her toned body and watched how her muscles easily flexed as she gripped her hips. Her posture clearly demonstrating dominance. She was the alpha of the group, no doubt about that.

I watched how she carelessly flicked a few hair strands backwards with a finger as her curls danced with the wind. My own fingers twitched, wanting to gently sweep her hair away. Would she gasp as my fingers touched her skin? Its amazing how often my emotions changed around her.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened my posture and walked towards the remains. The pull she held on me felt almost gravitational, my stomach flipped when the sound of her raspy voice became closer, the feeling almost making me feel nauseous, was this what "butterflies in your stomach" felt like?

"Doctor Isles, finally joining us?" Detective Frost teased.

I smiled in return. Desperately trying to avoid Jane's eyes.

"We've secured the area for you," Detective Frost said. "Jane was persistent that no evidence was to be moved before your arrival,"

My neck moved so quickly towards Jane that I could have sworn I had suffered from a minor whiplash.

"Th...thank you Jane," I cleared my throat. She smiled at me, the kind of smile that showed her dimples. The kind of smile that was contagious and made me forget about anything and anyone else. I hadn't realised we hadn't spoken for longer than acceptable until detective Frost cleared his own throat.

"So, umm, can you give us a time of death?" He asked. His hands scratching the back of his neck. Did we always make him this uncomfortable?

"Discolouration suggests livor mortis has occurred, this usually happens one to two hours after death and lividity will then become fixed approximately eight to twelve hours postmortem. Of course, as we know, after death blood stops circulating the body and livor mortis is the process of where blood pools towards the ground due to gravity," I explained. "But! As you can see, this man's arm, which has not been resting on the ground has a blood pool meaning lividity stopped here,"

"So he was moved?" Jane asked.

"Yes" I smiled and looked into her eyes, unable to stop myself.

"Right…." Detective Frost sighed, "so time of death?"

"I cannot say"

Both detectives sighed.

"Because this man did not die here, livor mortis is not reliable as a time of death estimate. Not without taking environmental factors into account,"

"Was it murder?" Detective Frost asked.

"If a body has been deliberately moved after death. I think the answer would be yes!" Jane smirked.

"Not necessarily, someone could have moved the body for many reasons. Perhaps they stumbled upon the deceased and moved them to a more public place so that they could be found or carnivore attraction could have move the body"

"and also, I read this exciting article based on fauna and flora's impact on human remains a few weeks ago and it had visually shown the remains had moved several metres away from their initial place,"

"Oh! That's so funny, I read the same article yesterday!" Jane smirked. I rolled my eyes knowing that she was making fun of me, "and Maura, were you speculating..."

I shook my head, "merely suggesting various reasons for the deceased movement postmortem", I shrugged and smiled at the two detectives. We were acting as if nothing had happened, the feeling made me slightly queasy because it felt natural yet forced. So I thought. Glancing at the sky, I noticed the sun was no longer vibrant but a pale comparison as the clouds rolled in and hid the bright star. Jane noticed it too.

"We might wanna pick up the speed. The sky is looking angry," Jane said with her hands stuffed in her pockets, the epitome of confidence. I sighed internally.

Several minutes later, heavy rain poured around us, the droplets so loud that it drowned any other sound, "Maura!" Jane whined and used her jacket to covers some forensic evidence. Frost had disappeared at the first signs of rain.

"I'm done," I told her and stood up.

"Make sure that all of the remains are safely sealed and sent to the lab," I yelled over the sound of the downpour. A young, flushed looking CSI nodded and hurried away towards the makeshift tent they had built.

"Where's your jacket Maura?" Jane grunted through gritted teeth. Her eyes looked dangerous, as if she was throwing daggers at me. What could have possibly made her angry in the space of half an hour? The rain? That wasn't my doing. I would have glared at her but she looked strangely attractive with wet hair and soaking clothes, it made her look more…primal. The feeling of excitement filled my stomach once more as I thought of my tongue following the path of the raindrops and of our wet bodies crushing together in ecstasy.

 _Wait_ , no! What's with all the crushing thoughts? These mental images needed to leave my head, why couldn't I control my thoughts around her? This morning I was determined to expel these sordid thoughts from my head for Ian but half hour in Jane's presence, these actions shattered.

Several seconds that felt like minutes later, I registered that she had spoken to me, "in the car I di…" I looked down at my blouse and immediately stopped talking as I understood the issue. How was I supposed to know that my wet clothes clung transparently to my body?

"How'd you miss the weather forecast that said it was going to rain? You are always prepared," she said, sounding almost accusative, like I had planned for this.

I huffed in anger, "Unlike you, Jaaaaayne," I said, deliberately elongating her name, "my evening was cut short. Of course, you would have known if you had bothered to check on me," I tried to look unaffected. I knew I had told her to leave but I had hoped no _expected_ her to have stayed.

"You and Casey probably went home laughed at my expense and…and…" I could end that sentence because the image of Jane and Casey together made me feel sick. Then the sudden thought entered my head, was this just pure sexual attraction to Jane or did she feel the way I did? I know that I couldn't place my own feeling into the right category but I wondered if she constantly thought about me, if she smiled at the thought of me. Did she feel excitement just before seeing me? Was it all just me? I knew that she cared for me but to what extent?

"That's not what happened," Jane shouted, I struggled to hear the rest or maybe I didn't want to hear it but then a gasp left my lips as she tugged me towards the cars, "that's not what happened," she repeated, this time a millimetre away from my ear.

-/-/-

We drove back to the precinct in separate cars, I was thankful for this because it allowed me time to recollect my thoughts and to breathe. Thunder had started a few seconds after leaving the crime scene, the rain continued to thrive.

Jane followed me directly to my office. No words were exchanged. I felt electrically charged and with the potential to unleash dangerous, delicious shocks. My body shivered.

"Here," I said, throwing a towel at her, "you're creating a puddle on my floor," I smiled to ease the tension.

"Thanks," she smiled, her dimples almost showing. Our eyes met and lingered for a while as we took each other in.

"Maura," she said and walked closer to me. I stepped back, space, space was needed. The thunder outside roared loudly.

"Casey went home when we left your house. I told him to go. I told him that I needed space to think," she looked at the ground. Was Jane Rizzoli nervous? "I didn't tell him why I needed to be alone, I should have,"

"Then why didn't you?" I asked my curiosity peaking.

"Honestly?" She took a further step towards me, "I didn't want him to stop me from going back to you,"

"But you didn't anyway,"

"I did," she said, standing so close that I could almost feel her breath on me. When did she get so close to me? "I would have climbed to your room too but Ian told me that you were sleeping,"

"I wasn't…wait, Ian? You spoke to Ian?"

"Briefly. He told me that you guys had a minor issue after we left but that everything was sorted. I asked to see you but he said that you were sleeping and that you'd call me when you woke up," she explained.

"Maura…" she whispered. "I'm glad that Ian stopped me last night because…I…I can't keep myself away from you,"

"Then don't," I rasped.

"No…" she whispered and put her hands on my shoulders and gently but firmly pushed me against the wall, her eyes digging into mine. "I mean that when I'm near you I feel my body shaking with want and I'm losing self-control, It's killing me that I'm doing this to Casey," she murmured, I could see tears forming in her eyes. "but at the same time it's destroying me to see you everyday and not being able to take you in my arms and crushing our lips together,"

Crushing…my breathing hitched at the word and her eyes darkened. I tried to distract myself with other matter, I tried to be the bigger person but who were we to try and fight it? With a joint sigh of defeat, we both gave up at the same time. In the instant before our lips met, I had a vision, where in my mind I was standing right at the edge of a skyscraper and if I looked up, I realised I'd already fallen a long way, and that I actually stood on a ledge. If I looked down, I realised that the earth was so far I couldn't even see it. Jane's lips on me felt like an invisible force was pushing me towards the edge and if I were to stumble, I wouldn't be afraid, I'd hold on because I'd know I'd be safe.

My screaming lungs brought me back to reality; I pushed my body closer to hers, arching my spine so that my breasts rubbed against hers. The sound of her approval rushed down to my very core, and I held onto her soaking jacket, my fingers like claws around the collar as my knees buckled. Then her lips left mine and felt like I wanted to cry. Was she regretting the kiss already? Couldn't she see that I needed her right now?

But with an almost animalistic growl, she leaned down and kissed my neck and bit me hard enough to coax several moans and soft screams, "Fuck…" she moaned as she kissed, bitten and licked my neck. My hands raked her back and my fingers dug into her glorious muscles so that she knew and felt just how much I wanted her and how she affected me.

Her lips returned to mine for a few chaste kisses unlike the previous ones these were softer and loving but still contained a little desperation. When our gazes met, our eyes screamed what we couldn't verbalise.

"I can't stop this Maura…" a pained expression came over her face, "I want you. I want you so much that it pains me to see you with Ian,"

The mention of his name made me visibility flinch, "He thinks we're having an affair,"

Her eyes widened, "What did you say?"

"The truth Jane,"

"Which is?"

"We kissed and that I'm sexually attracted to you,"

"Is that all?" She asked after a full minute of silence.

I bit my lips and looked down, "I…ummm, I thought it was merely sexual attraction but, ummm…"

"Maur," she whispered and gently cupped my chin until our eyes met.

"I've been having these constant thoughts that maybe…umm…maybe…" She brought our lips together and we smiled as we kissed.

"Maura, with you sexual attraction isn't enough. I can't stay away from you because it's you! Yes, currently all I want to do is fuck you against every surface in this room and believe me, it's taking all of my self control not too," she said, her eyes looked the darkest I'd ever seen.

Pure, desperate arousal rushed through me at the thought of us together. I couldn't think of anything else, "But, Maura, I just love you. I've been thinking too, hard and I think that I might be falling in love with you,"

This time, I was the one who crushed our lips together, this time, I was the one who spun us around and pushed her against the wall. This time, I was the one who kissed her lips with aggression and desperate need, like her lips were my salvation. A loud thunder rumbled above us, briefly stopping our frenzied kissing, "thunder maura," she murmured and kissed my lips, slowly trailing towards my neck.

My hands brushed against her abdomen, my fingers seeking the hem of her top until I felt her soft, warm skin, "Jane. I want to feel you, this needs to come off," I panted through kisses and pulled her suit jacket off. She nodded and arched against me. Our wet clothes clung together just as desperate as we.

A loud thumping sound reached us, stopping us briefly, "Relax baby, it's just the thunder outside," she breathed, peppering kisses down my exposed shoulder. Looking down, I noticed she had unbuttoned half of my blouse. When had she done this? I smirked but I didn't care. At that moment, I couldn't think but feel…

"Don't call me baby," I grinned and pulled her top over her damp curls, exposing her toned abdomen and simple black bra. I licked my lips and took her physique in, Jane was a beautiful work of art. I could have spent hours just trailing each individual muscles, "Jane you're beautiful," I murmured and kneeled down to kiss the muscles I had just been admiring. My fingers played with the button of her trousers. I wanted to feel more of her but what would this mean?

"Maur, if you touch me...like that, I wouldn't be able to stop,"she moaned. We were so in tuned with one another that nothing couldn't have broken our world.

"I want you Jane. All of you...on all of the surfaces in my office," I grinned, looking up at her. She smiled, her dimples in full display.

"Okay,"

My lips returned to her stomach…

Just then, a loud knock came from my door. I silently thanked the universe for the room separator I had installed in my office, "Maura!"

My eyes widened, Ian.

"Shit," Jane cursed, and sprung away from me. It's amazing how a beautiful moment could be shattered in the space of seconds. We desperately tucked our shirts back into our trousers with laboured breaths.

"In the bathroom," I whispered and gently pushed her towards the door. I'll forever remember the look she gave me because it broke me, the great Jane Rizzoli looked embarrassed and hurt, and probably felt like a cheap, dirty secret. Then it hit me, I've been pitying myself over this from the start but never took a minute to think about the effects it was having on Jane. She had honour and respect and being with me probably broke several moral codes that she had imposed. When had I become so selfish? The knot in my stomach tighten, _I'm sorry Jane_ , my mind screamed.

Ian knocked louder, he was beginning to get impatient, "Maura, why do you have a phone if you never fucking answer it?" Ian yelled as soon as I opened the door.

"I left it in my car, it was raining and...well I'm sorry it just skipped my mind,"

"Huh huh, it just skipped your mind…" he mocked me.

"Was that before or after you and Jane fucked like horny teenagers?" He yelled, "you know what? That's not even important right now. If you had bothered to answer your phone you would have seen the missed calls from me and your mother,"

"What? Why?"

"Your father has died from a heart attack."

 **-/-**

 **A/N: So? What're you think? I'm already writing the next chapter...there's some angst on the way. So sorry.**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for your support! I love you all. I found this chapter difficult to write because my emotions often seep into my writing, I literally had to listen to my "sad" playlist in order to finish this and yes, I have a playlist for every emotion, haha. Oh and in this story, Maura and her father got along.

PS: In a none related topic…Lemonade…*squeals* Any Beyoncé fans out there?

Chapter 4`

 **"** **Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to London Heathrow Airport. Local time is 10:05am and the temperature is 10** **o** **C,**

 **For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with…**

I suppose that's what they call Karma. You do a bad thing and a bad thing happens to you. What Jane and I had didn't feel like it warranted such heartache. We weren't breaking any laws. Love shouldn't have been so painful. When Ian had told me of my fathers passing at first I thought it was just a cruel joke but a joke it was not.

** 24 hours earlier * *

 _"_ _Maura, I've asked Cavanaugh for some time off. I'm coming with you to London," Jane told me as we sat on the sofa facing a blank TV screen. I hadn't spoken for a while. Truthfully, I didn't know what to say. I was never very good at talking about my feelings and a part of me was still in disbelief._

 _"_ _Maura, sweetheart. Please say something," she whispered and wrapped her arms around me. I know that she was trying to comfort me but I couldn't allow myself to accept it, how could I accept her love that came with the potential to hurt many people. Even through my tear filled eyes, I saw how hurt Ian was when he saw Jane coming out of the bathroom. The guilt teared me up, would I feel this way when Casey found out? Angela and the other detectives at work?_

 _"_ _No, I…I want to go alone Jane," I said, refusing to look at her knowing that she'd have hurt painted on her expression._

 _"_ _Listen Maura I'm not going to leave you…"_

 _My hand gently pressed against her mouth, "I think we need the time apart actually," I closed my eyes and gently inhaled some air, "this whole thing with my father's death might be a sign that maybe…"_

 _Rapidly standing, she spun around and glared at me, "a sign? Since when have you started to believe in signs, karma and all the other shitty superstitions? Sometimes bad things just happen in life Maura!" She exclaimed, dramatically huffing, sometimes, the Italian in her really came out when she was angry. I nodded, it was quite endearing if it had occurred under different circumstances but at that moment, it frustrated me. She never thought about practicality when she was mad, it made her act recklessly._

 _"_ _Jane, calm down," I said, standing up to meet her eye level. "I must admit that words like karma entered my mind but Jane, I told you that I want you…but I just need the time alone, please understand," cupping her cheeks, I brought our lips together for the sweetest kisses that we had ever shared, "I love you and I'm leaving Ian once I get back from London. I want you, I promise Jane but I need to go," I begged her to understand, "look at me, Jane. I need to do this alone and I can't handle you seeing me this broken,"_

 _"_ _You're not broken Maura. You're grieving and I want to do it with you," her lips pouted._

 _"_ _Jane, look at me," when she finally did, my eyes filled with tears one again, I could see so much love in her deep brown eyes, had it always been there? If so, how did I miss it?_

 _"_ _I'm so sorry about your father Maura," she murmured. I watched as tears fell down her cheeks and I couldn't stop myself from kissing them away. Our breathes were so close that I could almost taste her. Until then, I had never understood how one could crave someone so badly but with Jane it finally made sense. All the literature and art I had been expose to growing up , it all made sense. Love felt powerful and terrifying all at once. It made me feel like I could take on the world…euphoria I'd assume…but it carried the delicate potential of mass destruction, no wonder many fought over it, it was something to be desired and guarded._

 _"_ _I love you," she smiled through her tears, I nodded with a tearful smile of my own and pressed our lips together. A sigh of contentment passed our lips, every time I kissed Jane it was like fire, it ignited in the depths of my stomach and travel to my other senses, making me feel alive and fearful of getting burnt because I knew that a burn even if small would break this delicate moment. The loss of my father pained me but with the world locked outside, nothing else mattered at that moment but Jane's love for me, she was enough._

 _She peppered kisses against my skin. The softness of the moment, a sweet contrast against the dominating passion of her strength the two making me deliciously delirious._

 _"_ _Maura, we need to take things slow," she panted, our foreheads touched, "I don't want to take advantage of you during these difficult times," I nodded, understanding her._

 _"_ _Could you just hold me until I have to go?"_

 _She smiled so brightly that it made my heart skip a beat, "of course,"_

 _** Present * *_

I could still feel her hot lips on my skin as the bitter rain touched me. A black Range Rover pulled up in front of me and I watched as a tall man in his sixties with jet black hair and pale skin greeted me, "Miss Isles?" he asked, his British accept prominently standing out. I nodded and watched him grab my bags, the feeling of sadness washed over me, it made my throat sore as I looked around and watched the excitement on people's face as families reunited and lovers kissed. My lips trembled as I thought of Jane, had I done the right thing? Yesterday I thought it felt right but now the feeling of loneliness felt overpowering, no-one who loved me was waiting for me, there was nobody to hold my hand.

The drive back to my parent's mansion in Kent was silent. The tightening in my throat made it almost impossible to breathe and though I tried to focus in the beauty of the English countryside, nothing intrigued me. My fingers traced the rain patterns on the window, allowing my mind to drift away but the vibration of my phone brought me out of my thoughts.

 **Jane: Have you arrived safely? Is it really 10** **o** **C and in May? That's cold! *snowman emoji***

Laughter filled the silence as I read her message. She always had the power to make me laugh even when I didn't want to, "everything alright, Miss Isles?" the driver asked. I smiled at his reflection on the rearview mirror.

"Yes, thank you," I answered and replied back to Jane.

 **Yes, just landed and you googled the weather?**

"Horrid morning, they said the rain should stop this afternoon, hopefully you'll see some sunshine. Is this your first time in England? I'm George by the way," He smiled. He had a kind but professional face, like he had been doing the job for years and knew when and how to speak.

"No, my parents bought a home here in Kent when I was eight and we'd often visit,"

"Ah, well they picked a great spot. Kent is the garden of England," he smiled.

My phone buzzed.

 **Jane: No, I didn't google it! I have an app…;) and I miss you already! Are you sure you don't want me there? We could eat some Cornish pasty and I'd keep you warm.**

I typed my response and laughed again, **Jane, Cornish pasty is the national dish of Cornwall. Kent is on the other coast, a gypsy tart would be a more appropriate dish. Which app are you even using?**

"We're here Miss Isles," George announced, the rain had stopped, allowing the sun to shine for a while. Glancing out the window, I notice the place had not changed. Uniquely twisted fencing kept the house enclosed and neatly trimmed hedges surrounded the gardens. The mansion itself was set beyond the sidewalk, towering over me, when I was younger it always intimidated me, made me feel small but now it brought tears to my eyes, I suppose it made me feel small but not in the same way. The roof peaked, slanting down at an angle and the fresh cream coating of paint on the walls shone as the sun beat down on it. Squinting at the window, I noticed the royal purple curtain move, someone had been looking down at me. I lightly shook my head, couldn't come down to meet me?

On the right side of the lawn, a large marbled fountain of a woman holding a flower was perched on the centre, _that was new_ , I thought. I walked the little stone path to the front door and stabbed the doorbell. I heard the faint bell and held my breathe, I hadn't seen my mother in a while and though I loved her she had the habit of bringing the worse in me, emotionally speaking. Emotion was weakness and knowledge was strength she had always said.

Moments later, the door was opened by my mother herself, who was wearing a deep red and black suit, her hair pulled back into a tight bun, "Maura, darling," she greeted me with an impersonal hug that made me cringe. Then it occurred to me, she had always been this way but now I noticed it and I mentally cursed Jane's name for morphing me into the person I was today. Jane made me care, she made me detest materialistic things and made me need the basic things in life. Love.

"I'm sorry that I can't stay. I'm having to do last minute funeral arrangement," my mother apologised as she stole a look at her watch.

"Oh and I'm sorry about your father," she muttered but to me it sounded like a passing thought than an actual sentiment, I nodded but kept quiet.

Once alone, I looked around and noted the quietness and how the black and white linoleum floor of the entrance glowed, obviously it had been cleaned before my arrival. The place was impeccable, as always. I grabbed my bags and walked up the stairs that laid across the centre of the room, I noticed the little things that I hadn't before like how the dark walls with the silver brush swipes had no hanging pictures, unlike Angela's home this place didn't feel warm, homey.

/- - - -/- - - -/

Loneliness and heartbreak washed over me as I laid in bed and thought about my father and about all those times I had been too busy to answer his calls. I thought about the arguments we had and how'd he beg me to see him but I was always too busy. Just so damn busy. I remembered our last conversation and how he wanted me to find my true love, I remember him telling me to never settle for less because I deserved the world; he had been wrong. Desperate tears fell down my cheeks, If he could see me now, would he be proud or would he think of me as pathetic? I did…Lusting after my best friend instead of being faithful to Ian. When had my life become such as disastrous mess?

Further tears streamed down my face as I thought about the things he'd miss, like how he'd never meet Jane and never see how happy she potentially made me. Would he like her? He hadn't been bothered by Ian but what about Jane? Would he encourage me to follow my love for her? Would he stop me? My mother never understood my need for love but my father did. Growing up he'd often encourage me through his love of literature and art. It's funny how at the time it meant nothing to me but now it meant the world. Angrily wiping my tears away, I glared at the room and silently demanded the universe for answers. Why did he have to die? He cared for me, and had unconditional love for me unlike many others who just demanded things from me. Was this my punishment for being selfish? Why couldn't it have been the other way around?

"Oh," I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth as I tried to quieten my cries. I didn't mean it. Shame and guilt arrived just as fast as anger did, I certainly felt a roller-coaster of emotions, when would this heart wrenching feeling go?

"Daddy, I miss you so much, I'm sorry," I cried, looking at the ceiling. "If Jane was here, she'd tell me to talk to you. So…I'm talking," I laughed and cried.

"I love you so much and I'm so sorry for being so far…"

\- - -/- - - -/- - - -

The sound of the heavy rain hitting the windowpane woke me from my restless slumber, I was not prepared for today and the gloominess of the weather made it all worse. As I dressed, I allowed my mind to think about Jane and how things would have been different if she had come with me. Would she be peppering me with kisses? Would she hold my hand as I cried? A soft knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts. A brief moment of panic washed over me, what time was it? It couldn't be that time already.

Picking my phone from the nightstand, I glance at the time and breathed a sigh of relief. I still had time. Seeing a text from Jane momentarily distracted me from my task and brought a smile to my face, it was amazing how one moment with Jane brought me so much light.

 **Jane: Good Morning beautiful. Just letting you know that I'm thinking about you and miss you. Be strong! I'll ring you after the funeral xox**

With a smile, I sent her a quick text and walked to the door, my smile still present.

"You took your time,"

"Ian…"

"You didn't think I'd let you do this alone, did you?" He smiled.

"Why are you here? Ian, I thought that you…I thought that you understood that I wanted time alone," My hands flew to my chest as I spoke, my heart beating wildly, "I would have thought that after our conversation in my office…you'd…"

"think you'd be with Jane? Maura…Maura…Maura. If that was the case she'd be here and not me. Due to these difficult times I am willing to let that pass,"

"Let that pass?" My eyes widened in disbelieve.

"Yes, you're forgiven," he said and pressed his lips against mine, "now, you should really get ready or we'll be late,"

\- - - /- - - - /— - - - -

The funeral was a small affair, no speeches were said, no drama displayed. His favourite song played softly in the background. My mother had not spoken a single word, not even to me. My eyes felt swollen with saturated grief and my shoulders slumped under the weight of death's hand, I would have laughed under different circumstances because I starred at death in the face on a daily basis but at that moment I couldn't do a damn thing. I only cried, I didn't even have the strength to snatch my hand away from Ian's grip. I didn't have the strength to stop his lips from kissing my cheek and as he guided me back to the black limousine, I didn't have the strength to fight, I just felt numb.

\- - - / - - - - - / - - -

 **Jane, I made a mistake Jane. I needed you here. I feel so alone.**

Seconds later a text message arrived,

 **Jane: Why? Ian's not enough? I can't believe you Maura. Is this why you didn't want me there? Were you just fucking with me the whole time? I thought you couldn't lie! That was a pretty shitting thing to do. I hope he makes you happy.**

A/N: For those who didn't know:

A Cornish Pasty is a baked pastry made with meat and vegetables and it originated in Cornwall (U.K).

A Gypsy tart is a dish that consists of muscovado sugar (gives it a caramel-ish flavour) and pastry. It's super sweet and sometimes served with yogurt to balance out the sweetness. Before the United Kingdom turned their school food healthy, the dinner lady at my primary school used to force us to eat this everyday! Yuk!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Like always, thank you so much for your reviews/alerts.

So, I thought that Jane needed to have her say.

Chapter 5

My phone started ringing as soon as I walked into my apartment. It was two in the morning and I was glad to see my bed.

"Hang on," I shouted at my phone as I fished it from my back pocket, w _hy'd I told it to hold on was a mystery to me. Like the person would know_ …Jane you're stupid sometimes my subconscious (that sounded a lot like Maura may I add), said.

I smiled at the caller ID, it was Maura, "Hey beautiful," I smiled. "I was literally just about to call you,"

"This is not Maura, she's having a shower and getting ready for her father's funeral…incase you've forgotten,"

"Ian?" I asked and glared at the caller ID, had I been so Maura deprived that I'd started hallucinating her call?

"Of course. Who else would be here by Maura's side during these difficult times? You?" he laugh. The bastard actually laughed! "You didn't think she'd go to London alone, now did you?"

"Ian, I swear to god if you harmed one hair on her head, I will find you and kill you!" I felt sick with anger, with shaking hands I carried on my threat, "Ian, you've got one chance…where is Maura!"

"Calm down Rizzoli. As I said, she'd taking a shower and I just wanted you to know that Maura's confusion over you is just that….confusion. She's not in love with you. It's actually pretty pathetic of you to chase after a taken woman. Poor Casey, does he know?" I could hear the grin on his face, "that's his girlfriend's a lesbian? Anyway, I've got to go. Maura's gonna need me," he said and I wish I could wipe that smirk of off his face.

"Fuck you Ian!" I shouted and slammed my phone onto my kitchen counter. I was shaking with anger and I could see red, I wanted to punch something so bad but at the same time I wanted to curl up and cry because my heart felt like it was breaking.

Tears streamed down my face at a rapid speed, I couldn't remember the last time that I had cried so much, my legs felt weak, I couldn't stand anymore. Ian calling me a lesbian didn't bother me as much as it would have years ago. Being a woman in a man's job had me exposed to name calling in relation to my sexually a long time ago, my skin had thickened since then but what bothered me was how he had brought Casey into it. I already felt like scum for feeling the way I did and Ian didn't have to dig that knife further into me.

But, loving Maura felt like life itself. Yes, I was aware of how dramatic that sounded but she brought the laughter in me, the sadness, love, need, want, lust and it made me feel like a better person. My mother had always told us that if life gave you lemons, you made lemonade, Maura was my lemonade. I still remember the first time Cavanaugh told us that a new medical examiner was being sent to us. When I had learnt that it was a woman named Maura Isles, my first thoughts were rude and probably condescending and now she was all that I thought about, she was all that I wanted. How'd it come to this?

I slid to the ground and wrapped my arms around my legs and just cried. My mind entered a state of depression that I hadn't been to in years. If being hurt like this by Maura was what it felt like, should I pursue it further? What if I got too involved? How would I survive it if I knew her more intimately?

I'm not sure how long I was sitting on the floor but it must have been hours because the sound of an incoming message brought me out of my self destructing haze.

 **Maura: Jane, I made a mistake Jane. I needed you here. I feel so alone.**

She made a mistake? When? When she lied to me or when she went with Ian? Fucking hate Ian. Ugh.

My hands shook as I responded to her. I couldn't think of anything or anyone but the pain I felt. When the sound effect indicated that the message was sent an immediate feeling of remorse washed over me, had I over reacted? Was it justified? It was common knowledge that sometimes I over reacted but the anger I felt as I thought about Ian made me forget about Maura and her feelings. I was pissed, fucking confused, aching and _pissed_. She had begged me to let her go, stated that she wanted time alone, told me that she'd end things with him and then he went and not me!? I had the right to be angry, right?

"Fuck! I need a run," scrunching my hair up into a messy bun, I looked at Joe Friday and waved at her, "I'll see you in a bit buddy,"

Running always cleared my mind. During Hoyt's ordeal, running had been my salvation. Maura and I would get up at ungodly hours and run for miles. We'd run until our lungs burnt and exhaustion forced us to stop, I remember the times we'd literally crash on the ground and stare at the sky. Sometimes we'd lay so close that I could feel her body heat and often our pinkies would even intertwine. We'd never talk about those moments but I held them close to my heart, I think she did too.

/- - - -/- - - - /- - - -

"Frost! You, me and drinks at the Dirty Robber. First round on me," Frost always had my back.

"I can't tonight. I've got myself a date," he grinned as we walked into the precinct together. _I'll take that back_ , I thought.

"A date? You never told me you were interested in someone,"

"You never asked. Besides, you've been off your game for the past few days and no offence but Jane….you look rough this morning," he told me.

"Ah, Jeez…Thanks Frost. You always know what to say…" I rolled my eyes and bumped shoulders with him. After my senseless run last night, I returned home to many missed calls from Maura of which none I returned. Maybe I was being selfish but unlike Maura, I had no-one to hold my hand. ' _Well, you have Casey,'_ my Maura sounding subconscious said.

Ugh, Casey…"it's alright. I really need to speak to Casey anyways,"

"Oh oh, trouble in paradise?"

"Umm...something like that," I said, looking down at the ground to cover the shame that must have been plastered all over my face. "He's a great guy you know...but...you know what, never mind," I smiled at Frost and walked ahead to the elevator.

"You want Maura," he mumbled. It was so quiet that I had to look at him to see whether on not I had imagined it.

"Excuse me?" My brow rose.

"You want Maura. Come on Jane. You've got to give me some credit. I didn't become a detective by walking around with my eyes closed," he grinned.

"What...what're you saying?"

"I know about you two, the lingering looks you've shared and the constant blush on your faces when you're near each other…that and I kind of walked in whilst you and Maura were….ummm"

 _At least he had the decency to look embarrassed_ , I thought.

"I obviously ran out before you saw me and _I_ saw more than I wanted to. I even thought I was caught when I ran into a table and made some noise but you thought it was just thunder," he awkwardly laughed, "anyways, what confuses me is why you're not in London with her instead of standing here with this kicked puppy look on your face,"

"Little more complicated than that," I shrugged. We stepped out of the elevator and walked to the short distance to our office space, "Ian's in London,"

"Then make it uncomplicated Jane. We've got a case and you need to be in the game," Frost stated, "and before you completely ignore my advice as you always do, talk to Casey. Tell him what's going on. Sort it out."

"Okay. And I don't ignore you Frost. You're my partner. I trust you with my life,"

He chuckled, "yeah at work you do,"

/- - - - /- - - - -

"Hey," I smiled as I stepped into my apartment. After speaking to Frost, I had taken his advice and called Casey. He was a good man and deserved nothing but the truth from me.

"Jane," he smiled and stood up to hug me, I loved his hug because they always made me feel safe…calm. "You sounded quite serious on the phone," he said. "Everything okay?"

I looked down and bit my lip, "No, it isn't,"

"Why don't I make us both a cup of coffee. We can talk over coffee," he smiled and kissed my forehead. He was so loving and loyal, in another time he would have been my happy ending. I followed him to the kitchen and sighed. I hated this.

"So, tell me what's troubling you," he smiled.

I sat on my kitchen bench, "I love you, I really do," I said, tears already welling up in my eyes. He smiled and nodded, like he already knew what I was going to say. Were we that obvious? "I've come to realise that I'm in love with Maura. I don't know how it happened and please…please believe me when I say that it wasn't meant to happen, I…I'm so sorry," I rasped, my throat felt like it was closing in on me as I tried to keep myself from crying. Casey on the other hand looked as hard as stone.

"Please say something," I pleaded, "You've not said a thing for ten minutes…Casey…" I cried and wrapped my hand around his, which he immediately snatched away.

"Damn it, Jane," My pain solidified as I watched his well trained face break into tears. We had known each other since childhood and not once had I seen him like this.

"I'm sorry," I choked and forced him to accept my hug, "I'm sorry," I kept repeating until his tensed muscles gave up and shook as he cried. We fell to the ground and just hugged each other as we cried for what it seemed like hours because the sun had disappeared. We cried over our failed attempt at a relationship, we cried over the memories that we had shared and cried over the future that we no longer had. My body shook as my cries increased, _Maura, did we have a chance?_

"Jane," he gently hushed and hugged me tighter. "You can't help who you fall for,"

Sitting up, I sighed, "I know but the hilarious thing is that I don't think she feel the same way about me," I cried, "she told me that she wanted time alone in London but fucking Ian is there!"

"Hold on. She told you that Ian was there?" his brow rose.

"Well no," I wiped my tears with my sleeve, "Ian called me from her phone and told me that she didn't love me because if she did I'd be there and not him," I said as my tears restarted.

"Come'ere," he mumbled and opened his arms for me, why was he being so nice? My eyes questioned him briefly, "come on Jane. I think we've been through enough together to support one another without being bitter about it,"

I accepted his response and shimmied closer to him until the protective force of his arms made me feel less shitty about my feelings, "I'm sorry again,"

"Jane, you've got to stop apologising,"

"Oh sorry," His eyes narrow playfully, "sorry," I repeated, this time through laughter.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but have you thought that maybe Ian just turned up at Maura's house in London without her consent?"

I shook my head, "Maura's a strong person. She would've kicked him out," I said. Who was I trying to convince? I had over reacted and this error probably caused Maura's overactive brain to think of the worse. I probably ruined us.

"Would you? If one of your parents had just died? Would you have the strength to do anything?"

"Umm…no…I suppose not," I looked at my hands, "god, I'm pathetic,"

"Jane, you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself," he stated and stood up, "sitting on the floor and crying to me isn't going to get Maura on our side,"

I looked up at Casey, "our side?" I questioned him.

"All I want is for you to be happy…now let's come up with a plan,"

/- - -/- - -/- - -/- - -

 **"** **Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight SQ324 to London Heathrow. We are now inviting those passengers with small…"**

"You want me to wait with you until you have to go?" Casey asked as we listened to my flight announcement, "I'm sure I could pull some strings and go through with you,"

"You've done more than enough for me Casey. I don't even know where to begin to thank you,"

"Jane, don't mention it. I thought that at least one of us should be happy," he smiled sadly and hugged me, "now, go and get her,"

I grinned from ear to ear and nodded. I'd later admit how terrified I actually felt when the adrenaline stopped but at that time I was buzzing. Glancing at my phone I noted how in nine hours I'd be in London and I hadn't even told my mother!

Thoughts of Maura entered my mind as I sat in the waiting room and waited, I hated waiting because waiting led to thinking and thinking led to questioning and questioning depressed me. Such as, was I doing the right thing? Maura had stopped calling me, maybe she had given up or maybe she was simply calling me to tell me how she and Ian weren't breaking up and that she didn't love me. That it was all in my head.

I breathed out a sigh of relief as the doors opened and the airport staff started asking for passports and boarding passes, I silently thanked god for the brief disruption from my own thoughts as I handed the air hostess my passport.

The loud blares of my ringtone caused the awaiting passengers to glare at me, "What? It's not like we're on the plane yet!" I grunted and fished for my phone, "Rizzoli," I answered, still looking at the glaring people and at the air hostess.

"Jane, it's Casey. You…plane,"

"Casey, you're breaking up. What did you say? Look, I've got terrible signal in here and I'm about to get on the…"

"JANE!"

My heart jumped several beats, that couldn't possibly be?

"JAAAYNE!"

My head turned so fast that I was pleasantly surprise to see it hadn't detached from my neck. It sounded like Maura but there was no Maura, I really needed some sleep.

"JAAAAYNE"

And then just like a mirage, I saw her and it took my breathe away, "Maura!"

A/N: I was going to do the "Did she get on the plane?" thing from FRIENDS when Ross went after Rachel but I decided against it. LOL.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait! I've been so busy with work. I swear that my boss actually wants to kill me because he's given me no days off for the next two weeks. Never mind though, I've already started writing the next chapter ;)

Chapter 6

I felt slightly lighter as soon as the Bostonian air filled my lungs. Usually, I loved long plane journeys, first class always came with personal assistants, great food and obnoxious passengers that peaked my anthropological curiosity, something I had inherited from my father. However, when Jane was all that I thought about, being stuck in the same place for too long made me feel uneasy especially when it was out of my control to speed up the process.

* Flashback *

 _"_ _Maura, sweetheart. I really wish you wouldn't speak to your mother that way. She has just lost her husband," Ian said as I packed my suitcase._

 _"_ _And I lost my father!" I glared at him, "And this has nothing to do with you. Why are you still here?"_

 _"_ _You're my girlfriend. Of course this is my business,"_

 _"_ _Your girlfriend? Ian, I thought that…" pinching the bridge of my nose, I breathed in and tried to talk to him as calmly as I could, "I thought that it was clear that our relationship has terminated. I want Jane and not you," sometimes you had to rip it like a bandaid. That's what Jane would say._

 _"_ _She's been ignoring every single one of your calls Maur, does that sound like…"_

 _"_ _Don't call me Maur…Don't you fucking call me Maur," I glared and pointed my finger at him in anger._

 _His arms flew up, "Calm down…Jeez, Jane is a bad influence on you…all that I'm saying is…are you seriously willing to jeopardise our future for that detective who can't decide what she wants?"_

 _I stopped shoving my clothes into my suitcase and looked at him, "yes."_

 _"_ _Yes? Are you freaking nuts?"_

 _"_ _Maybe but I know her and I know that her heart is true," He snorted and rolled his eyes, "And, I also know you and I know how low you'd seep to get Jane's attention. How else would she know that you're here?"_

 _"_ _I only told her what she needed to hear. That fucking dyke has been after you for years!"_

 _"_ _Do not talk like that about Jane or anyone for that matter! Get out," I yelled. My temper had been lost to the argument. My chest heaved, "get out!"_

 _"_ _I gave up everything to be with you!" he spat._

 _"_ _Your contract had ended Ian, you didn't choose me. You had nowhere else to be," I said, deadpanned, "please leave or you'll force me to call the police,"_

 _"_ _This wouldn't be the last you'll hear of me!"_

* * Present Time * *

I glanced at my phone as I gathered my luggage, Jane still hadn't returned my calls. This made me feel anxious and nervous. I hated not knowing what to do. As I strolled through the airport, I once again observed the reunion of people, the sound of laughter making me envious. A ridiculous part of me had wished for Jane to be one of those people waiting for me but I knew that that thought was stupid, how would she know?

"Maura?" I heard my name. The accent immediately registering before I even turned around, "Casey? What're you doing her?"

"I came to drop Jane off," He whispered, sounding slightly amused which contributed to my confusion, "I swear to god you two are like the movies," he laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why are you dropping Jane off?" I said, my voice trembling. The dreadful thought of Jane leaving me immediately showing its ugly head. Did she dislike me that much to leave Boston? My breath hitched as panic rose, "Where…ummm…where did she…" tears started to blur my vision.

"Woah, woah, woah, Maura…Jane's getting on the plane to go and fight for you in London," He cooed.

"She's getting on the plane to London?" I smiled, my emotions felt like a wild rollercoaster.

"Yes. You seriously think Jane would just get up and leave? She's on that plane…shit! She on the plane!" He cursed and grabbed his phone. "Fuck! Maura…she's on the next plane to London and you're here…"

I don't think I've even ran as fast as I did and I didn't care about the luggage that I had just abandoned. I didn't even care about how crazy I must have looked or the unfairly high price I spent on a last minute ticket London just so that I could go through security. Jane was worth every dollar.

My throat tightened when I heard that familiar voice that had the power to stop my heart, "What? It's not like we're on the plane yet!" she grunted, ever so Jane.

I screamed her name and ran. It's safe to say that I looked wildly out of character but once again I didn't care, "JANE" I screamed her name again. I was receiving looks from the airport visitors and staff and I could see security approaching me. I begged them with my eyes that I was fine and tried to portray my clear sanity.

"JANE," I cried and released a gasp when brown eyes connected with my own and my heart drummed so loud against my chest that I'm sure everyone heard it.

"Maura!" She cried and ran towards me and we were like two stars on a collusion course. The gravitational pull so strong that it could be felt all around us. And like stars, we had the potential be bright and live a long life but together, together we illuminated the galaxy.

At that moment everything and everyone else didn't matter, they were just blurs and background noises, Jane was the only person I saw. Our bodies crushed together in a life altering kind of way, sending delicious yet terrifying shocks of excitement through our veins. At that moment I wanted to scream with happiness but also wanted to hide away from the overwhelming feeling; it was confusing.

"I'm completely in love with you," I sobbed and peppered desperate kisses around her face.

"God…" she cried too, "I've waited so long to hear that" she grinned and brought our lips together. Our bodies shook from the adrenaline fuelled moment.

"Come on, let's go to a place less crowded. You know how much I hate PDA," she smiled and wrapped her hand around mine.

I nodded, "What about your luggage?" I asked.

"I didn't take any with me," she blushed "I kind of just rushed out and didn't think about anything else. I didn't even tell work," she winced.

Having Casey driving us back home was to say the least, awkward. I was still upset about the way Ian handled matters and I suppose that Casey's reaction to the whole ordeal just made me wary, "Where am I dropping you guys off?" he asked.

"Jane's apartment if you could, please? I'd like to talk to her uninterrupted,"

/ - - - /- - -/- - -

"Umm…so, do you want some coffee or…" Jane scratched the back of her neck and looked at the ground, she looked painfully uncomfortable, which did nothing to sooth my racing heart.

Taking her shaking hands into mine, I brought them to my lips and kissed them, "Jane, please don't feel uncomfortable. It's you and Me. Jane and Maura, we've talked and hung out in your apartment hundreds of time," I smiled.

She moved slightly, Jane was always the wiggler, could never stand still, "yeah I know but now its different because we're together now," she mumbled, "umm…we are together right?"

I smiled, she looked so unsure of herself. It was odd seeing the ever so confident and sometimes cocky detective acting like a teenaged girl, "well, I don't know Jane. Are we?"

"I…want to be but then Ian…he…well" she sighed with frustration. "Maura I suck at this mushy, emotional stuff," she grunted.

"Let's sit on the sofa. If we're relaxed it might come easier," I smiled and guided her to the sitting-room, "now, why don't we start from the beginning. You know that I can't lie Jane so ask me anything. And I really did not know that Ian was going to be there. I wanted some time alone because this whole thing with us confused me. I hate being confused because…well you know me, I'm all about the facts and figures. Unfortunately, there isn't a peer reviewed article about Jane Rizzoli," I grinned.

"I was confused too," she rasped.

"Yes, I know but unlike you Jane, growing up wasn't easy, I was always alone. I'd often hide my emotions and thoughts and learnt to deal with them on my own. This has transferred onto my adulthood. By not having external influences I can make sound decisions. I realise now that perhaps it wasn't the best course of action,"

"I'm sorry that I over reacted," she said, "this is all just so confusing to me. I've never felt like this towards anyone and you being…well a…a woman just confused me even more. I was so angry at first and I'm so sorry but I wanted to punish you," tears fell down her cheeks.

"Why did you want to punish me?" I whispered and wiped her tears with my fingertips.

"Because I blamed you for loving you and for being so perfect. You made it so hard for my feelings to stay platonic. You made me question everything from my sexuality to my religion. And I couldn't ask my mother or brothers for help because their opinion terrified me. It still does! Then when Ian got back in the picture I was so angry! He was taking up all of your time and I remember that you told me once that he was the love of your life…" further tears streamed down her face, "how could I compete with ' _the love of your life_ ' Maura?"

"Jane…When I first met Ian we were both very young, we didn't even know ourselves. During that time it felt like he was my forever but we grew up and became two very different people. When he moved back to America, I did have love for him but I was no longer in love with him. I think that we tried to hold on to the old ways because it felt familiar…safe even. But Jane…" I moved closer and cupped her face with my hands and brought our faces inches apart, "the way I feel about Ian doesn't even compare to the way I feel about you. I'm so in love with you that these couple of days has literally been a shock to my system," our lips met in a sweet kiss.

"It felt like someone had kicked me hard when I read your text and thought that you were giving up on me. I literally packed my bags and ran to the airport that very moment. I needed to see you and fix this. I felt sick when I allowed my mind to play out different scenarios," I kissed her again. It felt wonderful to do so without her pulling away and without the painful reminder of Casey and Ian, "I don't think I would have handled my self well if we didn't work out…I want you…" _kiss_ , "so…" _kiss_ "much…"

Our lips gently moved against one another, it was sweet and powerful and held promises, "I believe you," Jane murmured and returned my kiss. Her hands ran down my back, sending shivers down my spine. Jane's touch always generated a wonderful sensation, we moved closer until our bodies moulded together, hers leaning slightly over mine, her weight over mine feeling sinfully good. My hands flew to her neck and pulled her in impossibly closer as we rebelled against the laws of physics. Our kiss became frenzied, I was selfishly Jane obsessed.

"Maur…" she moaned, breaking the kiss rather abruptly "I think we should go slow," she breathed. Our heavy panting echoed throughout the room, the sound fuelling my arousal.

"Jane," I rasped, our eyes met and stared hard as if we were looking for something in each others gazes. Perhaps confirmation to carry on but whatever it was, Jane seemed to have found it and smiled, almost wickedly at me. My body shivered as I witness the hunger in her brown orbs as they silently contradicted her rasps to slow down.

My brow arched as I smirked, "Okay," I rasped again and bit my bottom lip.

Her brown eyes darkened and zeroed in on my lips and the whole world seemed to stop. My breath hitched, all my senses pushed to overdrive, Jane looked almost primal. The need to show her how much I needed her schooled into my features.

"Fuck it," she grunted and crushed her lips against mine. Our mouths attacked each other, biting and bruising, our teeth occasionally gnashing together. Jane's hands were wound tightly in my hair as my hands yanked viciously at her jacket, determined to get her off of her clothes, our lips briefly parted long enough to wrench her top over her head. Somewhere between the animalistic need and the removal of her top we had traded position placing me on top. As my fingers touched her skin, a low groan escaped my lips, her olive skin felt as smooth as velvet and yet as hard as stone.

My eyes landed on her toned abdomen that I desperately wanted to lick, "lay down," I whispered. She nodded and slid down the sofa. She looked flawless, a work of art and if anyone thought otherwise they were clinically insane. My hands travelled down her abdomen until they reached the top of her jeans, "may I remove your jeans?" I asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable but desperately wanting to see more of her.

She bit her bottom lip and nodded, "I've never done this before," she blushed. "I'm sorry if I…ummm suck,"

I smiled and shook my head, "it'll come naturally," I whispered words of encouragement and gently pulled her jeans off.

Standing up, I looked down at Jane and gasped, my mouth watered at the image in front of me and I found myself licking my lips. She looked deliciously sweet as she laid there with a full dimpled smile and glossy darks curls framing her face, whilst her taut muscles flexed.

Her chest rose and fell as she breathed. A sudden thought entered my head, "your breathing is turning me on. Was that why you were so angry at me for sighing in the car?" I asked, my voice a trembling mess. My eyes narrowed as she fluttered her eyelashes and sighed. My self-control tipped over the edge and my weak knees buckled just before I lunged myself at her and assaulted her mouth, my hands immediately palmed her breasts.

"Yes," she gasped and arched her back as my mouth bit and licked her slender neck. I could feel her hardened nipples pressing against her bra and grinned, she felt incredible under me. My tongue traced the tendons of her neck, down to her sternum until I reached her black bra and moved the material aside. I grinned like an idiot right before wrapping my mouth around her hardened nipple, the first taste instantly became an addiction. Her moans of encouragement sent an arousing ache to my lower stomach.

Then suddenly Jane's work phone came to life the ringing tone sounding out through the haze of our lust filled embrace, "Fucking hell…what the fuck is it now? I swear to god that there is something out there to mess with my fucking mind!" Jane screamed and sat up. The phone interruption, like cold water.

"You should get that," I sighed and began to adjust my clothing. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't annoyed…I was fuming and sexually frustrated but I knew how important Jane's job was to her.

"It's Frost…damn it. I was twat-swatted by my best friend," she grunted, glumly "What?" she answered. I winced at the aggressiveness in her voice. Poor Frost, he was about to come into contact with Jane's wrath.

"Fine, okay. Keep him in custody. I'll be right there…" she ran her fingers through her hair and sighed with frustration, "I'm so sorry Maura. We've got the guy. He's been caught and has no alibi…"

I gave her a closed mouth smile and stood up, "it's fine. I've got to go and check up on Bass. I'm sure he misses me,"

"Maybe it's for the best, jumping straight to bed isn't taking things slow. We should go on some dates first, I really want us to work," she smiled and kissed my cheek.

I smiled again and nodded, "meet me at the Dirty Robber after work?" she asked.

"Of course…oh and Jane…it doesn't have to be a bed. Just think about that," I winked.

/—-/—

A/N: Please don't kill me…


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hello my lovelies, how're you all doing? Thanks for the kind reviews, DMs and alerts. I can't believe that this story has received over 120 alerts! I'm so so happy. Thank you everyone. Enjoy!

Chapter 7

"Bass, I'm home," I declared and pulled my luggage in. Even though it had only been a few days it felt like weeks since the last time I was home. I felt immediately better to see that everything was as I had left it.

Moments later I saw a red ballon bobbling by the kitchen counter, "what on earth?" I mumbled and walked towards it, "Bass, you've got a ballon attached to you," I cooed as I knelt down to stroke his shell.

"Maura, sweetheart. When did you get back?" Angela said as she walked in from the back door. As her eyes landed on Bass, she smiled shyly, "I attached a ballon to him so that I wouldn't accidentally hurt him,"

"Hey, I actually got back today and thank you for taking care of Bass," I smiled.

"It's alright sweetheart. How was the funeral?"

"Small, quiet…nothing really happened,"I looked down and scratched my chest.

"Jane was so snappy during your stay in London. I hope you weren't there alone. Did Ian go with you?"

"Umm…Ian and I broke up,"

Her eyes widened, "I'm so sorry. What horrible timing. What happened? Did he hurt you?" her eyes narrowed, "Janie didn't tell me,"

I shook my head and gave her a closed mouthed smile, "I…umm, I'm not really ready to talk about it. I hope you don't mind," Angela nodded and returned my smile.

"Of course. I'm here whenever you're ready to talk. You must be hungry. Do you want me to make you a sandwich?"

"I'm not actually that hungry and I'm meeting Jane at the Dirty Robber later, I'll eat then but thank you,"

"You know that I love you just as much as my own kids and will do anything for you Maura. I just want all of my babies to be happy, that includes you,"

Tears clouded my vision, "Thank you,"

/- - - - /- - - - - /- - - - -/ - - - -

The smell of French fries and beer entered my nose as soon as I stepped into the low lit bar. Several detectives sat by the bar and nursed their beers whilst they animatedly chatted to their colleagues. Angela bounced from group to group taking orders and refilling drinks, upon seeing me her smile widened and her head tilted towards Jane's direction.

The sound of laughter and the clicking of drinking cups increased as I walked further into the establishment, just as Angela had directed Jane, Detective Frost, Detective Korsak and Frankie all sat in a corner booth the furtherest away from the bar. All too distracted to notice me, I smiled and welcomed the opportunity to study the group. Jane dominated the conversation whilst the others held their own drinks and listened to her every word. Frankie had a look of admiration, Frost held a grin whilst Korsak chuckled lightly.

My stomach was already doing somersaults and Jane's gaze hadn't even met mine. I was almost certain that if she were to send me her dimpled face smile I would have turned into jelly, and if she wanted to keep our relationship quiet for now, my actions needed to be control or I would have ruined it. Because she had the ability to make me feel giddy, reckless and alive and it didn't help that I was still aroused and frustrated from our unfinished business.

"Maura," Frankie smiled, "you're here! Come sit," he grinned whilst sliding aside to give me room. "Thank you Frankie," I smiled and adjusted by dressed before greeting the other detectives.

As my gaze flicked to Jane's deep brown orbs, my stomach danced with excitement, "hey Jane," I barely rasped, my voice dripping with arousal. I suppose others would say that my eyes were 'undressing' her.

"Maura, I umm…I didn't know what you wanted to eat so…we…we waited for you," she mumbled and gripped the neck of her beer bottle and brought it to her parting lips. _Was she shaking?_ I thought.

My eyes were transfixed on her lips as I watched her drink the amber liquid, subconsciously licking my own lips I took a deep breath as I remembered how incredible her mouth felt against mine. My cheeks coloured as I thought about this mornings event and how I knew that her eyes rolled back ever so slightly as she sighed with pleasure. I couldn't wait to explore more of Jane.

"Maur?" she grinned, those damn dimples appearing. Why couldn't my mind behave? "So…ummm….food? Frankie's getting hungry," My eyes widened. _Fuck, I'd forgotten we had company._

"Oh. I'm sorry," I said, feeling a blush on my cheeks.

"Ohh…Oh…umm…" Frankie chuckled uncomfortably and looked down, avoiding eye contact with us, "it's fine," he mumbled.

Feeling slightly shameful, I looked at the menu and muttered, "I'll just have a grilled chicken salad," Jane nodded and took everyones orders before excusing herself and strolling to the bar. I watched her go and bit my bottom lip. _How did I go years without ripping her clothes off?_

"Okay!" Frankie shook his head before downing the rest of his beer, "I'll be right back," he said. _Had I said it out loud?_

"Wait up," Detective Korsak held his empty cup and shimmied out of the booth.

"What the hell was all that about?" Frost asked after a few seconds of silence, "so…you and Jane work out your issues?" Frost grinned, "she looked like a kicked puppy all week long and I'm tellin' ya. Working with a mad Jane is like hell. She yells at every little damn thing," he laughed.

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?" he chuckled, "you're not responsible. She just needed to sort out her shit. So has she?"

"I'm not sure what you're asking?" I smiled.

"Oh come on, Doctor Isles…" he chuckled.

"What's going on?" Jane asked. I looked up and silently thanked her. I knew how private Jane was about her love life and I didn't want to say something that I shouldn't have.

"Nothing at all," Frost grinned.

"I got you your favourite wine," Jane said. Our eyes met, the intensity within them instantly effecting me, "Imma go get another drink," Frost said. I'm sure he had muttered something as he left but I didn't hear him. Everything else was on mute but Jane.

"You look beautiful," Jane said as soon as we were alone.

"Jane, we need to talk about us," I whispered. "I need to know what's acceptable and what isn't,"

"You smell great too," she whispered and grabbed my hand, "I've missed your smooth skin," my hand gripped hers as I tried to control my breathing.

"Jane…I may not be as private as you but I'm sure that this isn't acceptable behaviour,"

"God and your mouth. I can't stop staring at those lips," she whined. Was she even listening to me?

"Please don't do this here," I stuttered, my legs shaking with need, "there's nothing that I can do…here,"

"I can't help myself Maur. This morning has left me ratty, unsatisfied and horny as fuck. I've thought of nothing but you. Even as I was arresting that son of a bitch…I thought of you. Then you waltzed in wearing that tight dress and fuck…I want you so much," she whispered, our faces so close that I could almost taste her breath, her eyes were almost black. My self-control was thoroughly being tested.

Before Jane could reply, the others rejoined us and our hands immediately sprung apart. With ragged breath, I rapidly stood up on wobbly legs and rushed to the restroom, I couldn't allow the others to see me like this. It was embarrassing and unprofessional. My chest heaved rapidly and my vision blurred with this frenzied arousal.

Looking at my reflexion, I noted how my light eyes were wide and dark and how my pale skin was flushed. Gripping the sides of the sink, I closed my eyes and took several breaths to calm myself. Moments later, two strong arms gripped my hips and lips deliciously attacked my neck, "Maur," she groaned, her torso pushing me further into the sink. A moan left my parted lips as her strong body moved into mine. We knew that doing this in a public restroom was dangerous, anyone could have walked in but we didn't care, our need for each other was too strong.

Spinning around, our eyes locked, "I love you," I smiled and cupped her face in both hands. Jane's lips crushed into mine with a bruising kiss that left me squeaking in surprise. My hands grasped her shoulders and pushed her back, we stumbled into the nearest cubical. And a gasp left her lips as I slammed her against the closing door and deepened our kiss, I could taste beer and something else that was uniquely Jane and it was deliciously addictive. Then realisation hit me, my lips move to her ear, "Jane, I hate to do this but I think we should stop,"

"No!" she groaned and spun us around, "no…" she repeated and grabbed my thigh and hooked it around her torso, pushing herself into my core and bringing our faces excruciatingly close, our noses touched, "I need you," she almost pleaded.

"I do too but I'm merely suggesting we move this to one of our homes. I don't want our first time to be in a restroom. I don't just want to fuck you. I want to make love to you," I rasped and kissed her. Suddenly Angela's voice cut through the restroom, "Janie, you in here?"

We jumped at the sound of Angela's voice. Jane's grip on me tightened as she held me up in an effort to keep my legs from showing under the door, "Yeah, I'm here Ma," she rasped, our gazes locked, "I've got you," she whispered with reassurance.

"What as that?" Angela shouted.

"Nothing Ma. What're you want?" she snapped, slightly annoyed.

Our foreheads rested together, "I love you," I whispered and kissed her. Even with Angela standing a few feet away, Jane's pull on me was too strong. I gently grazed our lips together and swallowed her low moan.

"Just letting you know that your burger and fries are done,"

We grinned, "Thanks ma,"

"Oh, and Janie, you've not seen Maura have you? The boys said that she just rush out. You didn't upset her did you?"

"No, Mother. I did not upset her. Now go! Can't I use the toilet in peace?"

"Alright Jane, no need to shout," we listened to the squeaky door swinging shut and sighed with relief, "thank god! Didn't think she'd ever leave," Jane grinned and close the small distant with a gentle kiss.

"I'm suddenly not hungry for food," Jane said as my feet touched the ground.

"I'm gonna have to agree,"

"Crazy thought. Wanna skip this place?"

"What about the others Jane? Isn't that kind of rude?"

Jane shrugged, "I don't care about anything but you. I love you and want you. The rest can wait," she stated matter-of-factly.

With lost inhibition on both parts, Jane's hands wrapped around mine and we dashed out of the Dirty Robber. Never once holding back, "where to?" I asked.

"My apartment. No interruptions or nosey mothers," she uttered.

.- .- -. . .- -. -.. - .- ..- .-. .-

I don't know who kissed who first but as soon as the front door slammed shut our lips crushed together in a searing kiss. Our hands tugged and pulled our clothes as we stumbled to Jane's room, leaving a trail of clothes and artefacts that had been knocked to the ground due to our clumsy limbs. It was messy, desperate and beautiful.

By the time we had reached her bedroom, we were down to our underwear. My eyes moved down to her olive skinned body, "beautiful," I whispered, but before I had the time to admire Jane's abdominal muscles, or her flawless collarbones gracing her sternum, my eyes became transfixed on the sight of Jane unclasping her bra whilst simultaneously kicking off her panties. Naked, flushed skin and panting, Jane's blackened eyes stared straight into mine. My lower abdomen ache with pure adulterated need. Lunging forward my tongue assaulted her mouth and pushed her backwards onto the bed, with me landing on her.

The feel of her naked body squirming underneath me was so intense, the sensation so strong that it made me dizzy. A moan left my parted lips as her stiff nipples brushed against my clothed ones. As if she had read my mind, her hands came to rest on my back and unclasped my bra.

"Gorgeous," she murmured before taking one of my erect nipples into her mouth and swirled her tongue coaxing moans of pleasure from my lips. My back arched and my fingernails dug into her shoulders.

"Jane," I groaned.

"Kiss me please," I begged.

Before I knew it, Jane expertly rolled me over and pinned me to the bed, "I'm always on top," she arched her brow, and sent me a cocky grin before leaning down and capturing my lips whilst her hands wrapped around my thighs and dragged me down until my centre smashed straight into her own thigh. The sensation, jerking a loud moan from me.

Her mouth bit and licked my neck as my legs wrapped around her torso and bounced off of her raised thigh. The friction that was created so delicious that I wanted more. I was so wet that I was sure that I had coated her with my dripping sex, "Fuck, I need to feel you," she groaned and ran her left hand past my breast, over my stomach and stopping just above my hip bone. Lifting her head up, she hovered over me and silently asked me for permission. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"I want you so much," I whispered, so sweetly and untangled my legs so that she could remove the final barrier between us. "Beautiful," she murmured and returned to my lips for a searing kiss. My hands palmed her breasts and toyed with her nipples and I loved the beautiful moans she kept releasing. Her open mouthed kisses moved to my neck as her hand snuck between our bodies and stroked at my sex teasingly.

"Jane," I moaned when her digits slowly dipped in, "don't tease me Jane. We've waited long enough," I rasped, "I want to feel you in me,"

Finally giving in, Jane slid two long, tapered fingers into my core and my body gripped her hungrily, "you're so wet," she murmured her voice so hoarse that it fuelled my arousal even further.

"Only for you," I cried and grasp her brown curls as she moved within me. Her thrusts picked up speed set by my hips. I couldn't stop my screams as she pounded away at my core. Catching my quivering bottom between her teeth she bit down hard sending another wave of pleasure down my spine. My hands clawed into her thigh as I desperately pulled her even harder against me.

The sudden need to feel Jane around my own fingers became apparent as she thrusted within me. My fingers trailed down her body, moved past her knuckled and gently cupped her mound, the advantage of Jane's left handiness much appreciated, I grinned. Then I even out the playing field and plunged two fingers deep into Jane's dripping sex. Jane's body shuttered at the unexpected contact.

"Fuck, Maura!" she moaned, "warn a girl next time," she groaned, grinding her hips against my body effectively pushing my fingers deeper in her.

"Why? You sound like you're enjoying yourself," I laughed, teasingly. However, my teasing was short lived once Jane's thumb pressed down on my clit, enticing several loud moans from my mouth. My eyes slammed shut as her body engulfed mine, her fingers mercilessly pumped into me, momentarily stopping my own digits from moving within her as I focused on the overwhelming sensation shooting through my every cell.

Our eyes locked, and with newfound vigour I plunged my fingers deeper and faster into Jane and watched her ride my fingers. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen. Jane's own fingers thrusted hard into me every time her toned thighs pushed behind her hand, "fuck…please don't stop Jane," I gasped.

"I've got you," she grunted and moaned as our bodies rocked together in a synced, frantic dance. Our stiff nipples brushed against one another as sweat coated our skin aiding our glide together. The erotic sound of our bodies slamming together echoed throughout the room along with our moans and we were so close, I could feel it.

"Jane…Jaaaayne," I cried with ecstasy, I was feeling wildly out of control as I rapidly slid my fingers in her, "yes…"

The cacophony of our joint screaming, bodies slamming and bed squeaking never sounded so beautiful to me as we made love to each other. Then with one final thrust, Jane's fingers plunged deep within me and crushed her palm against my clit sending me into a spiral of screams and thrashing mess. Seconds later, Jane's scream of ecstasy matched mine as we both came together. Our fingers gently slid within our sex as we rode the orgasm out. Moments later she collapsed bonelessly on top of me, neither of us spoke for a while as we panted and allowed our milestone step to sink in.

Then Jane started to laugh, her body violently shaking above mine, "we did it!" she screamed, "we fucking did it. We managed to make love without any goddamn interruption!" she laughed and brought our lips together. Although my mind was still in a haze, I shrugged and joined in with the laughter.

 **A/N: This was the first time that I wrote smut, so please be gentle with me guys. I really hate asking for reviews because I know that you're all busy people but I would really really love to hear your thoughts. What did I do that was good, and what needs improving? Should I just skip smut altogether? Please tell me or DM me.**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys, I've had a really stressful week and I was too tired to write. Currently writing this chapter with a face mask (I look like the hulk….LOL) and a nice cold beer. Hopefully this will de-stress me.

Anyways, thank you so much for the messages, reviews and alerts, I really appreciated every single comment. Some even made me blush...Here's chapter 8…

Chapter 8

"Hey, why didn't you wake me?" I yawned and stretched my deliciously aching muscles.

"Because I had a few phone calls to make and then I was going to go out and grab us breakfast," she smiled. I nodded as my eyes raked over her body, drinking in her tousled curls made by my hands, her oversized baseball shirt and her running shorts that exposed her beautifully toned legs, legs that seemed to go on for miles. Her eyes roamed my body, making me blush at the intensity. It's not that I was shy as a matter of fact, my posture seeped confidence as I stood there in nothing but her t-shirt and boy-shorts. No, I had blushed at the intensity of my own body's reaction to Jane.

"Have you finished with the phone calls?" I asked, stepping towards her and feeling slightly like a predator hunting its prey. My lips brushed against her jaw as my trembling fingers slipped under her shirt. But, feeling just an inch of Jane wasn't enough, not anymore, how would we cope at work?

Her eyes fluttered closed as my hands caressed her skin, moving the material away until her shoulders were exposed, "cuz I could think of other activities that we could do together," I purred almost cat-like into her ear before biting her lobe, causing her body to shake, which in turn sent shocks of excitement down my own spine because knowing that I could elicit such response was euphoric in its own way.

A low moan escaped her lips as my mouth bit down onto her shoulder, "I…I couldn't get through to…umm…"

"Umm?" I chuckled and pushed her back until she was pressed against the kitchen counter, "Detective Rizzoli…are you distracted?" I smirked, faking a gasp.

"I honestly can't remember what you just said," she stuttered.

My grin widened, "you might want to hold on to something," I rasped, and pulled the strings of her shorts loose and watched them pool around her ankles. My eyes widened with arousal, she wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Fuck…" she panted rapidly as she watched me kneel down and widened her legs apart. Her knuckles turned white as they gripped the edge of the counter. My tongue subconsciously licked my lips as I stood face-to-face with Jane's glistering sex. She was drenched, the visual sending a sweet ache to my lower torso. Every part of my body felt alive; my cells buzzed, my senses peaked and she smelt delicious. I could no longer wait, the need to taste her was too strong. With one swift motion, my hands grabbed her thighs and my tongue ran up Jane's slit in one smooth motion. My mind cursed, I knew that I was in trouble, Jane was addictively sweet, _perhaps eating burgers had its benefits_.

Stealing a quick glance at her made my breath stop. She looked magnificent with her head thrown back exposing her slender neck, lips agape and hands madly clawing the edge of the countertop, trying to stay balanced as I lapped up the wetness coating her inner thighs. Her legs quivered every time my tongue flicked over her clit, eliciting louder groans from her mouth.

Desperate, unadulterated arousal ripped through my veins. At that moment, I wanted to do a million things to her just to see her scream. I wanted her so much that it scared me. If I had given it much thought I would have even ran away because wanting another person this much left you vulnerable and dependant on them and what if Jane decided to stop? Could I? But at that moment, I wanted to feel all of her wrapped around me and nothing else mattered. A squeal of surprise left her lips as I pulled one of her legs off the ground and threw it over my shoulder, the result pleasing us.

"fuck…Maur, I don't wanna hurt you," she panted, her voice sounding raspier that ever, it was like music to my ears. However, I didn't respond with words, I didn't even give her a warning as my tongue plunged deep into her core, this new angle giving me more of Jane.

"Fuck!" she cried, fisting one hand into my hair whilst the other held on to the counter, attempting to keep some semblance of balance. My hands cupped her bum and gently guided her further into my awaiting tongue as I sucked, licked, opened and filled her.

Just then her phone beeped to life, the sound rapidly becoming intolerable to my ears, "don't answer it," I pleased and sucked the bundle of nerves in front of me.

"Jesus Christ!" she screamed, "I don't think my body can hold up any longer…"

"Then don't," I deadpanned and pulled her to the ground, "come for me," I panted and brought our lips together for a heated kiss as my hands ghosted over her tensed muscled, and then slowly descended until they reached her soaked mound. The kissing stopped momentarily as our eyes met, "don't hold back Jane," I whispered and slowly allowed my finger to slide through her wetness, the feeling of her fleeing a gasp from my lips. Her back arched and sucked my fingers deeper in her.

"Yes!" She cried, encouraging me to pump harder…faster. My mouth returned to hers and kissed her until we both gasped for air as my fingers continued to thrust within her.

Her hands snuck up under me and toyed with my underwear, "don't," I grinned and slapped her hand away from my panties, "I want to please you,"

She groaned, "and I too!"

"Later Jane, be patient," I smirked and added a third finger, deliciously stretching her.

Her ringing tone sounded again, my thrusts increased with vigour, "I'm going to fucking kill whoever that is," she grunted and moaned.

My mouth moved to her breast and enveloped around her hard nipple, "Jane…" I pleaded for her to ignore the device, "focus on me,"

Her pitch black orbs looked down at me, "I'll always focus on you Maur," she smiled, showing her beautiful dimples, "fuck me," she rasped with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"What've I been doing so far?" I laughed and bent my head taking her nipple between my teeth once more and sucking forcefully on it whilst flicking my tongue over the peak, instantly pulling in sharp, ragged gasped. My thumb pressed down on her clit as my fingers continued to pump mercilessly into Jane.

She rocked her hips against my hand, plunging my fingers deeper and faster, "Jesu…fuck…god…Maur…I can't hold on anymore…" she moaned, her eyes tightly shut.

"I told you not to and open your eyes Jane," I demanded almost aggressively as my fingers corkscrewed together inside of her, and slowly moved out before thrusting them back in, the extra push she needed to send her flying over the edge. Her eyes flew open as she screamed in glorious oblivion, writhing and shaking with pleasure. Moments later, my body gave in collapsed on top of hers, my fingers still deeply buried within her.

"I'm never going to be able to stand in my kitchen without getting horny again!" she laughed.

Suddenly, my phone started ringing, "someone really wants to get a hold of you," I laughed and pulled out of her without any warning and jumped to my feet.

"Jesus Christ, Maura!" she grunted and playfully glared at me, "we need to come up with some rules. First rule; warn me before doing anything to my body,"

"Sorry," I giggled before answering my phone, "Isles,"

"Maura! Finally!" Detective Frost exclaimed, "I've been trying to reach you and Jane for the past hour!"

"Sorry, we were…" glancing at Jane, I saw her eyes widen at me and shaking her head no… "busy…" I murmured.

"Can you put me on loud speaker. This is urgent," he said.

"Sure. You're on speaker Detective Frost,"

"Jane?"

"Right here but I'm sure you already knew that…" she smirked.

"I've no time for this right now. Maura, somebody broke into your house last night,"

My eyes widened, "what? Did they…take anything. How's Bass?" I panicked.

"Bass is fine Maura. Jane, you need to come down to the station…" Frost stated. I could sense some hesitation in his voice.

"Frost, why do I get the feeling that there's more?"

"Jane, its best if you are told in person,"

Jane's eyes glared at the phone and picked it up from the countertop, "Damn it Frost. Spill it out or so help me god…"

"Your mother didn't show up to work this morning."

.- .- -. . .- -. -.. - .- ..- .-. .- * .- .- -. . .- -. -.. - .- ..- .-. .-

Jane bolted out of the vehicle as soon as it came to a stop. Her tears hadn't stopped running as we drove to the precinct, my own eyes watered with stress and confusion. Why would anyone take Angela? Sure, Jane had a lot of enemies in Boston but none had ever targeted her mother.

Shortly after parking my car, I ran after Jane.

"Frost…what happened? Tell me everything you know. Have you tried to trace her phone? Has anyone seen anything? Have looked at the CCTV camera's? Have you spoken to Korsak?" Jane fired questions at the young detective.

"Her phone was left by her beside table which suggests that she made it home after her shift at The Dirty Robber. Korsak, stated that he last saw her getting into her car minutes after closing the bar. Korsak went to check on your mum this morning when she didn't show up to work and noticed the door to the guest house was left wide open and all the lights were still on,"

"Have you checked my cameras" I asked, "I've got a few dotted outside my house,"

"We have, but whoever it was that broke into your house was aware of their location. They managed to sneak around each camera," Frost stated.

"What else?" Jane demanded, "what else have you got?"

"What about her car?" I asked.

"Still there…umm, Maura, your house was trashed. They ripped your clothes to shreds, destroyed your mattress and slashed your paintings. Do you know anyone who would have a grudge against you?" Detective Frost asked.

"Frost, we both have many enemies in Boston…" Jane paced.

"Yes, but this was personal. The suspect…"

"Ian," I blurted out.

"Ian? Isn't he still in London? Besides, he might be desperate but he's not stupid or suicidal to go after my mother!" Jane grunted.

"He warned me…when we were in London…Oh god, Jane. It's my fault," my hands covered my mouth, "he's punishing me," I whispered as tears clouded my vision.

"Jane…we've got our best team out there looking for your mother. There were no signs of a struggle. If Ian did take her…she went without a struggle. It's a good sign Jane," he smiled and cupped her shoulder.

"How is this a good sign?" she barked, "my mother did not show up to work this morning and Maura's psycho ex has probably kidnapped her!" she cried and shrugged away from us. My stomach tightened. Jane was hurting again…and just like last time, she was in pain because of me. It was my fault.

"I'm sorry," I murmured through tears. Tears that I couldn't control.

"You're sorry? Damn it Maura! Sorry isn't going to bring my mother back. What am I suppose to do with _sorry_?" she snarled. I saw regret flash before her eyes, I could tell that she didn't mean to say those words to me but nonetheless, it still stung.

She spun around and rushed out of the precinct, "Jane…where're you goin'?" detective Frost asked.

"To find Ian and fucking end him!" she glared.


End file.
